Monday, January 28, 2008
i dunno why im blogging at this freaking hour. maybe because i cant absorb anymore or i just hate the feeling of studying.
we quarrelled today. more towards me getting angry and fed up with him. i ignored him for 4-5 hours. i cant rmb. not talking to him and keeping him at an arm's length distance.
these few days, i think and think and think abt this r/s. i really really cannot carry on without any feelings in it. i dunno why. there's no third party for me. i guess it's because im tired of leading tt boring life with him.
it was only after dinner that i talk to him. because his mum was in the kitchen too. if not, i wun even bother. after tt spring clean his hse. his room to be exact. see, everything seems like a chore. i did without complains.
madness. what kind of relationship is this? 32 months coming soon, but then there's no love between us. i seriously dunno. greatly affected by his words. he told me, 'even if u want to break with me, break la, it's not like i cant live without you'
i rmbed it so clearly that sometimes i really have the urge to leave him once and for all.
time and effort is nothing to me. im still young. im not getting married at a young age. and im not going to bear any child. so i dun mind marrying a guy who's a divorcee. so i dun have to bear any child for him.
it's obvious that we both have separate thinkings on the future.
my dear, for now, my heart dun belongs to you totally.
i need sleep.
12:03 AM
