Sunday, October 28, 2007
i've never felt so loved before. he's not my bf, not my father n mother but it's frm my brother. seriously. today as i was still putting on my make up etc...he asked me: 'u going out now ar?' and so i said yea. and den he said aiya i drive u out la. u wear until so nice, no chauffeur not nice la. haha. sweet! and den my mother start to nag at him for offering to drive me.
ytd night, before he meets his gf, he asked me if i want to eat anyting. den i said no. and then he said if i want, give him a call. and den ard 1 plus going to 2 am, he called me and ask me again. sweet!
actually i can proudly says that my father and bro loves me alot. i dun deny dat la. even though they seldom show out, i actually knows it.
my mother dun really like me. maybe its because after my existence, my dad turns his attention on me and pay less attention to her. that's why im an eyesore to her all the time.
let's just stop talking abt my family.
more on relationship issue.
ok, like what caleb lye says, this world is unfair. the only fair thing is, everyone have 24 hrs per day.
12.26am, i called him, he said he's at the carpark. and after doing so many things, he still didnt call me, so i thought what happen. and den i called him. he not happy. scold me, and then deny that he isnt scolding. nvm nvm. he demand freedom. he said he hates having to call me all the time. and so he expect me to call him when i go out, when i reach somewhere, when i do this, when i do that. and even when im in the toilet, and i missed his call, he'll even scold me.
and he called my house twice when it's already 1am. SELFISH.
nvm abt that. today i went to his relative wedding dinner. his attention was on his niece, and other girl's boobs. i was feeling very very unwell. he didnt know abt it. period 2nd day, the worse day ever for a girl. my cysts keeps hurting since noon. cant tell anyone but to bear the pain myself. and den during the dinner, things doesnt turn out well. from my stomach to my head, everything seems weird. sth wrong with my blood circulation. shoulder aches, headache, uneasy on the stomach. i dunno what's wrong. things just doesnt turn out fine.
and so because his attention wasnt on me, and he heck care abt me totally, what for i held onto his hand? what for i let him hold me hand? if he took me for his significant partner, he would care for me, not because he wants face and then come and hold my hand.
i told myself in the car, that one fine day, i have to put my heart down and put a pause in this relationship.
just one fine day....
im sorry to say that he's not the ideal man for marriage.
im too tired to say anything. i want to sleep.
i hate ulcers.
12:35 AM
