Monday, July 16, 2007
tired. fed up. irritated.
i really feel like giving up this relationship. mainly is because im tired. tired of having to report to him my whereabouts and him not doing the same. like people expect you to do sth, but he/she doesnt do that in return. tired tt there's so much restriction. the lies tt he was working OT, the lies that he made up to dunno go where. he thinks im stupid. but he doesnt know my sixth sense are quite accurate.
i wun say i'll give up on this relationship. but i'll say i'll give this relationship a missed. it's when love turns into hatred. and it's when my heart lies low for him. it's when i realise i love my family more than him. and everything happens because i realise i will nv stand a place in his heart. the many dreams of him with another girl haunts me in my sleep... i just hope everything will come to and end.
im tired.
sometimes i'll say im damn jealous of couples who love one another take for example a guy in my sch. kelly you should know who i meant. i'll treat him as more than friend but i'll not totally treat him as my boyfriend. he's nv there for me when i needed him, and when im hungry he will ask me to go and find food myself. he never offer to buy food for me even if im super hungry. i felt so disappointed and it's been my mistake for choosing him in the first place.
i believe i deserve better guys, i believe i deserve to be treat better.
i'll declare myself as single. i'll not put on the ring he gave, i not wear the necklace he bought. if i dun stop this torture, i'll suffer for live. i really really cnt imagine when we got married.
or maybe if i think further...when im pregnant and have cravings for certain food and him scolding me and asking me to go get the food myself. i really cannot imagine. im starting to hate him. till now he still wun understand what i feel, what i want.
i've been pushing the thoughts, the hurt in my heart away so that i can concentrate on projs and studies. trying to act happy when beneath me, im fighting to stay happy and not think of what's going to happen next.
freedom!
8:02 PM
