Friday, July 27, 2007
i hate cramps, i hate period, i hate to be a woman.
weather is so cold, i feel like sleeping. my tummy hurts a lot because of the cramps. i feel uneasy. i hate studying. i dun like to go for tutorials. i hate climbing the stairs. i hate walking around.
and i indulge in chocolates to make myself happy, to make my tummy less hurt.
for this moment i just wanna hide under my blankets to sleep. hahaha.
when i think back, why am i giving my all in this relationship yet he cant even feel it. i feel so sad, so empty. he said,'you know how to love me meh'. what a qns. i mean if i dun love you at all, why the hell would i spend 2 yrs plus holding onto a r/s with you, forgiving you for helling and shouting at me. why why why???
i used to think tt if i were to buy him medicine when he's ill, rush to visit him when he's ill, get him breakfast in the morning so that he dun have to carry an empty stomach to work, help him do this and that, he'll feel my love for him. i was so wrong, not until today. it's when everything goes unrecognised, its when he dun give a damn abt me, it's when he started scolding me. i think im the silli-est person in this world.
why cant he understand me?
on the other hand, im so afraid he'll fall for me. or rather to be more specific it's P. because he always sms me, and today there were a few msg-es sent and received...and....let's not talk abt it...
no one will want a girlfriend like me.
bye.
10:27 PM
