Thursday, July 26, 2007
for this moment i think i'll just dig a hole and bury myself in it.
i got so frustrated doing the tutorials, until i feel like throwing things around, scolding people when they frustrate me and killing the lecturers if possible.
somtimes when i think back, why didnt i cherish the time during lectures? i mean it's not like i didnt listen in class, it's like i usually didnt fully understand sth and i'll just do the tutorial, etc. ARGH...i dunno what im talking. crap.
as you know, i dun like bringing in blank foolscap into tutorial because i dun like copy-ing answer, i rather correct my ans instead. but i believe i have to do so tml. i dun understand a single SHIT in Afa. it's when the lecturer missed out tt you completely dun understand, it's when the lecturer dun give a damn, it's when 'HEY IT'S POLY AND YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING YOURSELF INSTEAD OF THE LECTURERS SPOON-FEEDING YOU'...just test me on the concept of consolidation and i can tell you i know nuts abt it.
i regretted choosing this course. why choose a course when u know u cant handle? because ppl says tt course is good? well,no and hell NO. because i have an interest in calculating, because i love figures, but why make-do with so many eng, so many FRS? why is it that other course can enjoy their poly life better than us? like we pay money to torture ourselves, like we pay money to face the stress, like we deserve it.
i feel so tired. shoulders ached. tired eyes. mixed feelings. brain going crazy.
i broke down in the evening. because i feel so stressed in life. what revolves around me is proj, tutorials, exams, sleep. and the same routine again the next day. when will the word HOLIDAY comes? when there was completely 'stressfree' life? quarrelled with him. maybe because i was already very pek chek and he keep asking the same qns for the past few days which made me flare up and den arguments arose and hurting words splattering around. why have i gotten myself into such a state that w/o him, my life will be empty? or maybe because i've only a few trueful friends. well,maybe.
bad bad day.
11:09 PM
