Monday, April 02, 2007
the pain...i really dunno how to explain or describe it. i have difficulty walking and i nearly tripped. maybe it's because i was thinking of sth and my mind was so occupied by so many things tt i didnt realise the uneven floor.
i cant do many things. even sitting can be painful for me, even visiting the toilet is a prob. the very very basic of everyday life have been changed. i cant walk too much, cant walk too fast, cant sit too long and cant visit the toilet too often because of the pain.
sometimes i wonder why. why happen on me? why do i have to suffer so much.
there were many question marks in my mind. im starting to keep away from my family members, trying to hide sth by pretending to smile. it's really hard when everything goes haywire. tk for eg, ytd when i went out with daddy ytd, the smile and everything was just a pretence. not tt i want to, but i dun wan to spoil the day. with both my eyes being swollen it's not tt they didnt know i cried. they dun wanna question so much.
im starting to doubt his words. not believing in everything he said. sometimes i wish to be alone. to cry my hearts out. there's so many unhappy things happening. im putting a brave front. im trying to keep myself cheerful and in an optimistic thinking by cracking jokes for my colleague and laughing together.
boss treated us to fish & co. new york fish & chip is yummy but too bad i couldnt finish.
guess tt's all.
still missing ashraff. bleah.
8:14 PM
