Monday, March 26, 2007
it was only after this issue that i realise how 'true' their love was. it's okay, nvm. u turn ur back on me, i'll turn my back on u. i once told u, no matter how bad my health is, it's no longer ur business. firstly, i've seen ur true colours, secondly, u didnt show much concern.
how many times have u asked abt my condition? one time which is when i visited the doc. tt's all. i did tell u how painful it is, instead of consoling me, comforting me, u scolded me, u sounded annoyed. how many nights have i cried abt the pain? do u know?
one day when i have decided to leave u, dun ask me why. dun make me stay. happiness wun last forever. there's a vow in the registration of marriage tt one have to stay with one another, no matter how hard life is, no matter how ill one is, the other will go thru the pain with them. u cant even satisfy this, let alone marriage. by then ur feelings may have already fade.
the life im leading is no difference from being single. it's only tt i gets to go over on wed, fri and weekends. did u ever shower me with concern? when u were ill, i will go over, i nv gets fed up with u, i do everything for u, even the slightest thing, even the nearest thing, i'll get it for u. yet wad abt u? how did u actually treats me on sunday? when i was so uncomfortable? u even scolded me when i needed slp, u even throw ur temper on me for no reason right after i woke up. wad's the matter with u?
ur bro even ask me wad kind of medicine im taking. wad abt u? u always ask me to visit a doc when im ill. were u with me all the while? wad did i do when i heard tt u were ill and needed a doc? no matter wad, i'll rush down to acc u to the doc. and when im sick, i have to visit the doc alone.
i realise the past sacrifices have all gone down the drain.
if this is the life i have to lead in the near future, i wun hesitate to leave. this is not sth i want. not the life i'll lead.
are u able to dote on me the way daddy does? maybe yes, maybe no.
all i can say is, dun take me for granted.
it's time i isolate myself from the 2 guys. i need to learn to be independent. i knw they will nv be with me thru'out.
from this, i've learnt tt only ur own family members will stay by u, support u and help u when u r in trouble and when u needed them the most. i dun believe in love.
bye to both.
10:22 PM
