Tuesday, December 05, 2006
very very sad....everything planned jus have to be cancelled off...
not meeting dear on thurs. again a lonely birthday. no baby's company no dear's company. he wanted to take leave on thurs, it was not apporoved. so most probably im not meeting him tml and neither thurs. somehow like wad i've mention in my previous entry, it's as im leading a single life. like my boyfriend dun exist. like only my family will be dere for me all the time. maybe he has a change of heart or wad, i dunno. somehow im really tired of this r/s. in both r/s, im always the one taking initiative. no one plans programs for me, afterall im the only one planning it. and yet, everytime it has to be cancelled off.
no present from dear. i dun expect much from him. not now anymore. because my heart for him is DEAD. was very sad now. after he broke the news that he cant celebrate my birthday with me, i dunno why tears jus keep flowing down. our 18 months together falls on my birthday. he dun make any effort to plead with his supervisor. it's as if the 18 mths and my birthday means nth to him at all.
mus really thank mummy for celebrating my birthday for me, and dad insist that mum cooks sth nice. though they haven celebrate it for me, mummy has ordered the cake. she's so much better than dear. he dun give me any cakes, no present for me nth at all. i cant even own him for 1 day. everytime it's either his family or work. i really wonder where i stand.
very much regret not attending my sec sch chalet.
the best memories for my birthday celebration was when brandon, lianzhen, wan chuen, joanna, jun wei, zeng ye, collen and some strangers celebrated my 16th birthday 2 years back. i still miss the time. the surprises they gave me touched me deep down. at least i once enjoyed. i should be glad.
i was still telling mummy that my bf will celebrate my birthday for me on thurs, but everything can only happen in the dream. she gt no choice but to celebrate my birthday on wed. now im super free on thurs, no dates, nth.
now i finally realise only my family will be there for me. celebrating my birthday for me, getting me the things i love and many more...
a sad day ahead.
i will never look forward to my birthday. it's jus an ordinary day for me.
5:52 PM
