Thursday, November 02, 2006
was a lil pissed with andy. dunno why i felt so distance from him. is it because my heart was no longer with him or is it otherwise. i dunno. dun wanna think. somehow this r/s doesnt really mean much to me. if possible, continue. if not, den no point forcing. that's wad i think.
was on the phone with baby last nite. we chatted till ard 3 plus. comfortable. only word for me to describe. i dun hide anything from him. but i tink the reason we spoke to each other for so long is because im so stubborn. dun wanna hang the phone even when i knew tt i have to wake up at 6 the next day. jus wanna hear his voice and i love the way he speaks.
but somehow i was kinda sad when he mention 1 thing. i dunno whether i should blog it down here. since it's my blog, i believe i do have the freedom.
'....a r/s with no outcome...'
somehow i dunno why i was so affected by this sentence. think think and think. so confused. that wasnt exactly wad i thought it would be. and of course i brokedown. i admit i sucks at r/s thingy. a girl who puts in her everything in a r/s but doesnt get back wat she should deserve.
when i told ching, she told me to be prepared. anytime i might lose him.
the unspoken words.
shall navigate from those unhappy issues. i dun wanna dampens my mood and den have some sleepless nite.
finally i get to go out ALONE with him. at first everything was weird la, but after a while it's okay already. tues morning and wed afternn. everything is enough to make me smile. i guess this was the first time in this sem that ching saw me at the happiest moment.
somehow i was a lil confuse. how long will these happiness last? 1 month, 2 month, a year or forever? definately not forever. because firstly im not his so-called dream gal, secondly everything was smooth for him n her. yes i do wish to own him but i know it can never happen. everything he said seems to pierce thru my heart. there was no reaction from him. is he trying to entertain me or wad.
the unspoken words.
the unbelieveable events.
the unglam me.
the un-fairytale.
baby if u r reading i hope it didnt really affect u. i jus feel like venting wad's in my mind...
im going to bed.
12:00 AM
