Sunday, November 19, 2006
still feeling down. haiz. i dunno wad to say. maybe sometimes i shouldnt say too much. the more i know the sadder i feel. my heart is in a mess. i dunno whether i should love him whole-heartedly. he's not, that's the case. i should not have said that. i hate myself for saying that, i hate everything right now. i dunno if i should conitnue waiting...
i went to holland v with dear and his fren. well, again i caught him look at a girl wearing damn low-cut shirt and he was eye-ing on her breast. darn. when i wear, i have to use a jacket to cover, but when other girls wear, u see like that's some gold that u can snatch.
im so tired, so tired of guys. i rather be a nun than to suffer all these. i hate my guys looking and oogling at other girls. it's as if i dun exist. get it? when u hold on to my hand, and ur eyes were on other girls, wad does it makes me? i know other girls can b pretty, if u like pretty girls, den DUN BE WITH ME. im not pretty, i dun have a nice figure, IM NOT A GOOD GF. I SUCKS TOTALLY. GET IT. I DUN NEED A GUY TO SATISFY MY LIFE.
is finding a guy who loves u so difficult? why must one go for looks? i dun have wad it takes to satisfy a guy. i ADMIRE guys who dun mind being with an ugly girl. that's true love isnt it?
i dunno how to thank jl. i mean almost everytime when im sad, he'll try to ask me wad happen etc. but yet i refuse to tell him. i told him i need to let it heal by itself. may be true but it seems hard this time. im really very confused.
until now le stil haven done finish my FF. still gt so many tutorials. how to do???? im really going crazy. tonight dun slp? wait until morning rebond hair that time den slp???? cannot la. haiz.
on the verge of breaking down....
2:17 AM
