Sunday, September 17, 2006
shopping with pearly and collen was cool. haha. it's been so long ever since the 3 of us came out together. haha.
did 2 good deeds today. firstly, i saw 1 old man w/o seats, and i gave up mine to him. secondly, another china man drop his 10 bucks on the floor without realising it, i pick it up n return to him. happy happy. sometimes i hope someone will do the same if it happens to me.
anyway bought rosebourbon perfume from sasa. top up mask to make it 80 bucks so tt i can get free $5 discount. haha. so bought quite a no. of mask lo. heh heh. more masking next week. going to sch reopen le.
idling left me to think of some things which i shouldnt be thinking. i dun feel secure with him. as i've mention previously, his feelings for me faded. today i have confirmed tt it's true. i dunno why either. his feelings not the same anymore, the way he treat me is like SHIT. the way he talk to me is as if i OWE him 100 millions. marry? wad's tt?
chatted with collen and pearly abt marriage today. seriously, i've nv thought tt he will be my lifetime partner. sooner or later sth bad will happen to us. really. i didnt wanna say tt out to them both for fear tt i wun be able to control my tears. afterall i dun deserve such treatment. i know soon i will find someone who will treasure me more than he do.
cried in cab. cried hard when i was bathing. who can understand? no one. i know pearly can, but since now she's attached i cant be calling her at night and discrupt their conversation. it's so hard, so complicated. i wish i've someone who loves me more than i love him, i wish i've someone who will treasure me more than i treasure him. is it so difficult?
leave me alone.
9:45 PM
