Tuesday, September 05, 2006
i dun deny im angry, frustrated and having low self-esteem. im starting to hate him, starting to curse him. everything seems to fade. i need to ask myself if i really love him, i need to wake up. i dun wanna waste my whole life being with someone i dun love anymore. im confused.
i know he's with a lady, i knew, but yet he dun admit. devastated i was. tired. exhausted. wadever u name it.
i read darryl's ex gf handwritten diary. no doubt it's still with me when i went to his hse last time. haha. he didnt ask back and i didnt bother to meet up to return it to him. i dunno why there's always someone trying to break up someone's r/s. the other party mus of course be a willing partner.
somehow i thought n thought. why why me. why am i always the one suffering in a r/s. i dun have any trust in him. i dun have any confidence in myself. moreover there are so many gals who are much more prettier than me. when one gets together with someone because of their looks, is tt call love. a definate NO.
feel like slapping him hard, feel like giving up. maybe these few days of staying at home really bored me to the extend tt im imagining things... i felt s if im struggling to keep up to this r/s. wad am i doing. going against my heart. fu*k.
bye.
4:38 PM
