Friday, May 26, 2006
had a super bad day in the morning. early morning had a quarrel. because he said im too cold towards him. how can i not be cold. i was traumatize by wad happen ytd, till then i haven even recover.
sms him telling him tt i've reached sch. he wasnt happy because i didnt address him as
dear. so he was scolding me over the phone. haix. so eventually my tears couldnt control itself. yah, i cried at dover mrt station.
was feeling moody on the way to business blk.
heck all my other frens. reached class den ching saw me crying. she came over to talk to me. see, tt's wad true frens are. haa. i knew tommy talked to me, yet i didnt reply. he said, 'so did u manage to find out july gt how many days'. trying to add oil to fire. didnt reply him.
after a while i tink he asked kelly wad happen to me. ok, im jus so emotional. i cant control my tears. for tt moment i wish i had a shoulder to lean on. i wanted to cry out loud. really. i will feel better after letting it all out, but
public. i cant.
chatted with pearly over the phone last nite. now den i know the 3 of us, pearly, collen and me r undergoing the same situation. abt r/s. it's jus so hard to make a guy stay forever. nth seems to satisfy them. i really gave up.
during taxation and facc lectures, i totally shut off. and i mean shut off, i wasnt listening, my mind is a total blank. haix. before facc, chatted with pearly outside the mlt. haix.
after sch went to look for
him. i didnt even call him. den he called me ard 5 plus. hmmm...he knew i was sad. i knew he tried to give in already but but but....haix. i dunno la. wad's love afterall. i really donno.
was very quiet thruout till after dinner, he tickle and disturb me. so, hmmm....ya, everything is fine now but den i knew everything will be back to its ugliest point again. a leopard will nv change its spots. right?
ive already given up. so if it works or not, not my prob. ive told him i may give up this r/s. he told me, 'going to 1 year already leh' but so wad. i mean haix. i dunno wad to say la. tml im not meeting him because he going his boss house. stupid fucking boss. i mean why must they threaten to give warning letter if dear is not going to turn up. haix.
by the way thanks to crystal. for showing her concern.
9:41 PM
