Monday, June 29, 2009
i nv liked them. but in front of them, i have to pretend that the greed and jealousy do not exist. but i just hate the idea of them here in s'pore. because they'll be a burden. and worst is, i never like the two younger ones.
couldnt sleep well. having often nightmares and waking up in the middle of the night. no matter how tired i am.
anyway quarrelled with him big time last friday. it wasnt my fault, it still will nv be my fault. i'll nv admit this time because im the innocent party. because we were at city square. he's buying dinner for me after watching transformer. a guy popped by and showed me his licence for the donation drive, asked me abt the existence of mtv7 at m'sia, and then showed me pictures of the elderlies who needed help. he didnt go straight to the point whereby he needs me to donate money. i didnt even know what shit he wants. he came over with drinks, after tt to collect the dinner and ignored me thru'out.
journey back was like total strangers. after tt on the way back to kranji mrt station, he threw my belongings at me in the bus. with passengers looking at us. (obviously he thinks tt he's the big man) he asked me to go home myself. i walked over to the platform to look for him, which i never know why. and then, a sudden slapped went straight at my cheek. i was obviously unprepared for tt slap. and then another slap right into my lips with his hands holding onto my neck, causing my lips to bleed a little and then a punch at my stomach which was even more unexpected.
he did it discreetly, but still there were stares from outsiders. i didnt know what went wrong but he insist tt i should have rejected tt guy. but c'mon, tt guy look younger than me, how is he going to kidnapped or do anything to me? while tt guy was talking to me, i wasnt listening much. i was in fact looking at my bf who's buying drinks. i was so hungry. fancy in hunger for 8 hrs without food. who would care. why does he have to kick up a big fuss. i really dunno.
it hurts me alot. he promised not to hit me. but he still did it anyway.
i called collen when i reached home after bathing. i talked to her and blurted tt he hit me in public. she asked me to leave him. she says if there's a first time, there will be a second time. seriously i dunno why im holding on.
i know i shouldnt let him hit me. but as i said, all things came unexpectly.
what if one day we gt married. what will i become? his punching bag?? i seriously dunno. im so sad.
12:12 PM
Tuesday, June 09, 2009
i've decided to remove the past few post. because i cant blame anyone. i chose to stay, i chose him. blame it on me myself for making the wrong choices, giving up my 3 yrs plus relationship. but what's done is done.
i tell myself to tolerate. to tolerate his scolding, his everything.
till one day when everything can no longer be kept...
on a lighter note, i went to extract my last tooth. was so deep, i bleed so much. created a scene there. i hate the dentist at jb area. my bf scolded me there because it hurts so much tt i kept crying when the dentist wanted to extract it. the ' ma bi zhen' dun seems so work on me. at first he injected 2 needles, but upon seeing tt it doesnt help, he injected another needle. the swelling up was terrible but i could feel the pain. after the dentist extract my tooth, i continued crying cause was so hurt tt my bf scolded me there when i was so much in pain. the so call assistant have to hold on to me. continuous bleeding for 2 to 3 hrs and then lil lil blood till now...from fri till now. so many days. i miss eating good food....
1:34 PM
