Sunday, July 27, 2008
不知道！就是不太开心！心情就是不好！不敢说太多，因为害怕吵架！
10:45 PM
Thursday, July 24, 2008
i just want to vent.
im getting so tired of baby's boss. she think she's the best of the whole world. i dun like the way she say me.
at first she told baby that i cannot go to the back of the salon because tt's the place they put the chemical stuff and she's afraid that i'll know what brand she use, she's afraid that i learn how to mix the stuff etc etc.
and then she's unhappy when i go into the salon. she told baby to ask me to sit outside instead of inside the salon.
and now, she said that 'your gf dunno how to think one is it'
c'mon, how much do u understand abt me. u've never spoken a word to me. and whatever shit that comes out from ur mouth is saying how sucky i am. im just trying to say u dun have the right to comment abt me because u dun understand me well enough.
just let me explain.
i'll nv be interested in salon stuff, let alone ur chemical stuff. i've no interest in learning anything, i've no interest in colour dying and i've no interest in learning how to do rebonding and how to mix the chemical. im not poor to the extend that i cant pay for someone to rebond my hair for me. u can fuckingly rest assure that i will nv pick any skills from ur salon.
how long have i sat in the salon? when u r back from maternity leave, how long have i sat there for? what can i do there? am i such a hindrance? i dun stop baby from working. he still continue his work, he still entertain customer, he still do what he's suppose to do. only when there's no customer den he came over and talk to me. and so because it's still the chemical prob, she says i should sit outside the salon.
'i dunno how to think' commented by someone who dun even know me. dun even know my character. fine. i dunno how to think. that's why i want baby to change off day, that's why i want baby to change his shift. hey mad woman, i only ask baby to change off days, not change shift. please get the fact right. u cant say i dunno how to think. we only get to meet once a week. it's only the start of our relationship. if i really dunno how to think, i'll definately make him quit and accompany me. it's not like im not use to this lifestyle. i've been trying to keep myself busy by reading magazines, etc etc.
and she even bad mouth me in front of new colleagues who dun even know me.
but too bad, she's just so well-known for her fucking mouth that even the new colleagues are complaining abt her damn mouth.
felt so much better after complaining.
11:21 PM
Saturday, July 19, 2008
quarrel with baby on thurs night. partly is because im afraid of losing him. and i keep thinking and thinking non-stop. sorry baby, sorry for making u feel so upset. sorry for making you feel unhappy tt u got to know me from the salon. i know u feel bad. i wun let my mind run wild again okay. thanks for giving me assurance. i love u more and more each day. =)
我不能一个人生活，少了你就好像停止了呼吸！每一天只想见到你，在你怀抱里，好温暖！
meeting up with my colleagues for dinner at seoul garden tml night.
i went to visit my gynae after work. to check abt the cysts prob. and thank god the cysts became smaller by 1 cm. hahaha. which is 10mm la. so happy. when i first done with the registration, i got a shock when i see the cysts. quite big. haha.
thanks baby for accompanying me at the clinic. though it's only for a while because u need to work. i understand. thanks for giving me support. and thanks for the herbal tea.
im off to chat with him le. heex.
9:29 PM
Thursday, July 17, 2008
要如何才能幸福快乐？我不知道，不敢去想。感觉好想快要失去他了。好想哭。也许真的必须一个人生活！我能习惯吗？
昨天他问我：“如果一天我们没有在一起，你会回去找他吗？”
听了有点不开心，可是却装着很开心。我知道他不会陪我到永远，也知道男人对情不忠，也许也是上天的安排。我伤害的男人太多了，现在也应得到报应。可是我要求老天，如果真的要让我那么痛苦，不如把我的命给夺了。
如果要我承受感情上的伤痛和身体的不适，我真的不想再继续！到底意义何处？我不知道！
如果子宫一直无端端流血，那做女人有什么用？未婚，未子！做什么女人。
我希望一切没有发生过。希望我从小到大都是一个人生活。
我不想看医生！我怕！我不想知道真相！我会想很多！我会很难过！谁了解？我知道你很疼我，可是我知道你心里不只是有我。一个人有两只脚，一脚踏两船也是很正常的。
烦！真得很烦！好想哭！
也许有一天我真的会离开！活到很腻了。生活没有意义！
8:29 PM
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education:
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
Success in your career is not the most important thing in life. You are content with what you have and think that being with someone you love is more than spending all of your precious time just working.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
4:09 PM
Friday, July 11, 2008
enough is enough. i have enough of everything. dun do things behind my back. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it.
let me ask again!
who will understand me? who can understand me? for these 3 yrs, i have given in alot. i really gave in to him. let him scold. let him do whatever he wants. even him threatening me. what shit does u ppl know?
just a break, is it so difficult?
why is it that u all have to call him and ask? why cant anyone ask me?
i tolerate.
1st yr.
2nd yr.
3rd yr.
i gave up.
enough?
9:50 PM
Thursday, July 10, 2008
突然觉得很寂寞。很不寻常。可能我真的变了。变得怎样我却不知道。我不想知道。放弃这段感情，我知道是我的错。明明是有点感觉可是却对你非常的冷淡。其实我的心很痛，可是我总要做出选择。我没有办法，不是不爱，真的是没有办法。分手也有两个礼拜了。
我爸想改变我的人生可他却忘了，他无法改变我的命运。
很想宝贝！现在我又不能过去他的店铺，他发神经的老板娘说怕我知道他们的药水。真的是神经。我要是对理发有兴趣，我现在不是在 inland revenue 工作了。而是在理发店了。真的是没有大脑。疯婆仔！
虽然我知道会有这么一天，不过还是超不爽她的。又不想请人，有不肯让他早回。
自己把顾客的头发弄坏却怪在宝贝身上。这种人真的是欠扁！
都不知道她在这里做什么。又不回家味奶！臭鸡蛋！
9:56 PM
Sunday, July 06, 2008
everyone said it's my fault. yes, it's my fault. everything is my fault. if i didnt choose to leave, things wouldnt be that bad.
love. what is love? who can understand what is love. none. who can understand me? none too.
who can i talk to when im lonely. none.
nonetheless i have a shoulder to cry on. and it's my new baby. even how hard my parents dun allow us to be together, im willing to take leave to accompany him, he's willing to wake up early to meet me. i love him for who he is. he love me for who i am.
i know 3 yrs is hard. because i sucks. i always think of myself. i didnt think of how hurt he will be. because im selfish.
i hurt him too much that i do not dare to face him. not even shed a tear in front of him.
love. what is love. define love.
just a four letter word. what's so difficult. it's complicated.
i just need a listening ear. but i really dunno who can stand in my shoes and think. yet and again, it's NONE again.
5:02 PM
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
it's all my fault. im sorry i hurt u over and over again. i dun mean to but i really have to. i know it's better to be true but i cant say the reason. because i fell for another guy, i call myself a bitch. i know all along u were loyal to me. but i really dunno why i choose to leave. i still love you. but i have to make a decision. between u and him. i have no choice. i hope u can forgive me.
we've been together for 3 yrs. i know all along u rely too much on me. even till now u still will call me and sms me. it's really my fault. i know it's too late to apologise. wo zhen de hen dui bu qi ni.
thanks for still allowing me to use the phone the line. thanks for allowing me to put my things in ur room. intact. i really dunno what's wrong with me. maybe till one day when i finally wake up, i'll go back. i promise.
dun feel very well.
time to sleep.
10:17 PM
