Monday, November 26, 2007
it's so complicating. and i just hate it.
went down to bbdc with ching to check on the basic theory test. there's so many procedures. argh!!! why cant we have online test. as in stay at home and do. just let it be open book. like as if u can rmb after taking the basic theory test. hahaha~
havent been feeling very well. sent my bf's friend off at changi airport just now. was so last minute lo. car too bouncy. dun feel very well in his car and den air-con too cold.
but fact is i wasnt feeling very well since ytd. my stomach was very pain all of a sudden. luckily got medicated oil.
alright. shall end here. bb.
11:23 PM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
i love the weather. so cooling. so nice.
his mum cook my favourite curry chicken. eat until so full. yum yum! a sudden craving for potato chips but i dun have any at home. sad ar.
i think i need to get a bag for myself soon. but i spent too much.
recently spent on clothes is the retro top/dress which is 27.90, another top from osmose which cost 26.10.
i need to buy mask, i need to buy bag, i need to buy heels. but i dun wan to spend so much. when will my dad strike 4D again???
i went to the career fair at convention today. like there's so many things. sad is...i dunno what i wan to be. lost. graduation seems so sudden. accounting line? or what. i dunno. admission to university seems like a no-no for this year because there's too many ppl applying. haiz.
ACCA seems the only choice left.
let's wait and see.
off for MA proj.
10:09 PM
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
putting everything behind pretending that everything is still the same.
9:16 PM
damn it! i hate it. what's wrong?
i really dun wan to say it out. but u keep forcing me. u hate me. den what's the point of being together. i just said i need a break. cant u just leave me alone. stop calling, stop msg-ing. since u hate me so much, what for call me and den pretend to be not feeling well asking me to pity you. i wun.
who's going to pity me when im sick. who's going to care abt me when im sick? you have ur parents, i have my parents. just let ur parents take care of you when u r ill. because u've nv taken care of me when im ill. in fact u throw ur temper on me when im not feeling well. u expect me to do things for u when im not feeling well.
so who's the robot in this case? u are treating me like a robot but u claim that i treated u as a robot.
stop accusing me. i know how sucks i am. so im the lousiest gf of urs. so let's just break. what's the point of holding a relationship? when u dun cherish me, when u treat me like shit. i know im no longer in ur heart. what brings our relationship together is the 'together-ness for 2 yrs plus'.
so please take it as a learning journey for u and me. go find a patient girlfriend who can tolerate ur temper. for now, i cant.
9:52 AM
Monday, November 19, 2007
i dun need people to sympathize me. i dun need people to tell me what to do. this is my blog. my say. either u read and shut up or u dun read at all. dun come and talk sense into me because I WUN LISTEN.
the reason for the creation of this blog is for me to rant, because in life, no one will bother abt how u rant, the most they entertain u by nodding their head. nth much. so since then, the creation of blog has been the one going thru all unhappy moments with me. im not hinting to anyone anything. this blog was suppose to be read by like less than 5 people i know. in fact 3 only. but somehow other friends found out and i find it worthless to change the url every now and then. if they read, den be it. whether they like what i wrote or they disagree with what i wrote, i dun care.
anyway i've decided to put this relationship away. because there were too many quarrels, misunderstanding and this have made me realise sth. - im too young to fall in love and im not the right girl for him. - i will not be a good wife of his in future because i can nv tolerate his temper. being his venting machine for the past 2 and a 1/2 months is enough.
however this does not mean that we will totally give it up. as in i really need a break from all these nonsense. wait till everything is much better than we'll think of the next step.
dun apologise. just take it as if im crazy. like how u always says i am. just take it that im not good girlfriend. go find someone u really like. i'll open up my choice because u arent the one for me. i should be the one apologising. all along, it's my fault for the outcome of this r/s. you've done nothing wrong. all along it's MY FAULT.
i dun need you. dun need anybody. i just want to be ALONE.
7:24 PM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
ihatehim.
my eyes so pain.
3 pimples on/near my nose. i feel so ugly.
9:45 PM
Saturday, November 17, 2007
i dun wan this to be a very sad blog, nor do i want to make ppl bored with this entry. im going to talk abt my relationship and so please click on the 'x' at the top right/left (which ever way u wan it) hand corner of the screen if u are so tired of it....
yes we quarrel...is abt money issue. my dad and my brother's greatest worry abt me. because of that incident, that he went clubbing and lie to me that he's sleeping and using his hse phone to contact his friend, i never trust him anymore. not even when he's honest.
i just found out that there was a lot of cash in his 'smaller' wallet. and den today he brought a $10 notes with him when he sent me home. when i qns him, he said he put it inside and forgot to take it out. and i ask him if he wanted me to put it inside his room, he said no need. he put himself later when he come back.
it's very obvious on what im thinking. he's keeping another woman? well, only he himself knows it. everyday there's ppl who fetch him to work, which he acknowledge as colleague. but everytime when i called, the environment was very quiet.
i open one eyes, close one eyes.
money isuue will normally lead to marriage. and so i told him i WANT to get married 3 yrs later. date for 5 yrs, and den married. tt's the reason why i dun wan to further study. i told him many many times, that many many ppl told me that in a r/s, we cnt date for too long. so i thought maybe 5 yrs was still alright. he said NO. no money to get married at such a young age. he said if u want to believe these nonsense then u go and believe. but i foresee my own future that my husband MIGHT not be him. i'll get tired of a r/s without trust.
dun tell me im wrong. in a relationship there's no right or wrong. it takes two hand to clap. if i dun see any effort done, what for i stay in this relationship? he celebrated my birthday for me twice, without cake. every year cake was bought by my bro or my mother even when we are already together. i said already, i dun expect much from him. the only birthday i enjoyed was by my secondary sch friends who gave me a surprise during my 16th birthday at sentosa. i thought at least he'll give me a surprise, but he didnt.
showering me with lots of gifts is not sth i really fancy. because i can afford. is whether i want or not. what i want is surprise, and true happiness. not by making me upset, cry and den u try to buy things to cheer me up.
simple and easy. none shown.
my eyes was very swollen, u didnt ask much. only till i mention my eyes is swollen den u realise that it's swollen. but u dun give a damn. and neither do i.
my cysts is getting bigger. i read newspaper and heard that some got ovarian cancer and have passed away. i dun even know when i'll die. how long i'll survive. when my cysts will turn into cancer. i dun even dare to visit my gynae. because at the end of the day, the one feeling stress is me and myself to deal with all these.
but i know im very fortunate not being born as a handicapped. but my life is no much diff from a sick person. like waiting to die. seriously if i got cancer i also wun go for treatment. to me this life is like a torture. i rather die and reincarnate to be another thing than to continue living in this world. dun say i give up on my own life, is because everything is making me so sick and tired of it. whatever i done is never appreciated, never recognise and i dun even know what's my greatest achievement in life.
i dun feel like blogging anymore.
bye.
10:47 PM
Friday, November 16, 2007
bad sore eyes. thanks to the choc sweets.
i was reading 2 models blog. they were quarrelling and den each said sth bad abt each other. one said the other is fat, the other said another was too flirt or what. and den the quarrel started. like they were once very close sisters. and now things have ended up in such a state. no one noes who's right and who's wrong. but outsiders keep interfering. making the 'sisters' unabling to patch up.
friends....seriously i dun think friend can be trusted. because at the end of the day, the one who backstab u, the one who sabotage u is none but ur own friend. that's why i believe no one but myself.
take for eg. A hv a friend name E. there was this event and E & A was at the event. during the event, E got to know other ppl from other sch. the ppl in that sch started saying bad things abt A when they dun even know A personally. E as a good friend (not best but only good) of A didnt bother to protect or defend for A. instead he added on to the gossipping of A. when A found out, and she eventually confronted E, he denied everything. E thought tt A is stupid, so he gave a very stupid reason n thought that he can lie through, not knowing that A is very sensitive to this. and the conclusion is.....
A decides not to be with E anymore. a friend that backstab u can no longer be called a friend. right?
but seriously i dun like those ppl who backstab ppl when they have done nth to them at all.
i dun really keep close friends. like one day they'll just leave you. ppl are so busy in this lifestyle that they dun have time for friends. work, relationship n family have already occupied their life. even if there's 8 days in a week, is also no use.
im not talking much.
good night.
11:26 PM
Thursday, November 15, 2007
so tired! been waking up at 6am for wednesday and thurs. but i was late for sch on wed thanks to the rain and the 'strawberry' jam at clementi. hahaha.
today was busy helping out at biz world. no more like last year. take photos and more more photos. this year was so boring. have to walk ard, sit down there sell things and den only can chit chat.
and the sad case was filian tan didnt attend the biz world. and tommy yee didnt appear too. sad sad sad...
had a very sumptous dinner. fried rice with normal ingredients like vege fish n chicken. and den fries and milo dinosaur. im so full now.
im sleeping soon. at 10pm. i need loads of sleep.
-ihateher-
8:40 PM
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
i see this week as a busy week ahead....
projs are coming up. re-test are also coming along. macc retest. im not surprise if i have to retest because i foresee i'll fail till i die.
because there's a lec who wants her student to do badly for their final year, so she set it so bloody difficult in order to see them again. i bet she love them to bits.
anyway it'll be cap at 50. so what's the point of studying hard?
trust~ this is sth lacking in our relationship. dun ask me why. ask urself. u broke the trust i have on you. therefore no matter what, i'll tell myself i cannot trust you.
thats what ppl usually say...once u lie to someone, they will nv believe you.
i wonder what lies ahead in our relationship without trust. like ice milo without milo. chicken rice without chicken.
no no, nth happen. we didnt quarrel. i dun even have the time for quarrelling. just random okay.
nth else. back to MA tutorial.
10:52 PM
i realised there was some mistk. argh!!! feeling very pissed off right now.
anyway ytd was watching vcd at my bf place. and then the show finishes at 8pm. so i slept thru'out until 9pm. i woke up and den it's time to go home. hahaha. i realise ive been a pig.
my mum cook 'mi fen' and some ingredients for praying one. den she pack some for my boyfriend. and while my dad added some ingredients secretly as in some of it my mum gave 3, my dad added another 1 more for my boyfriend. haha. he's so lucky la. and den after tt my dad ask me to tell my bf to treat me better and dun 'san xin liang yi'
daddy gave me 20 bucks this morning. =) yea.
the very broke me finally can see some light le. lol.
i think the very not worth money is always spent on cab. i should reduce the no. of times i take a cab. haha. like 4 times a week? isnt it horrible. even though some trips are not expensive but it adds up to 20 lidat in a week. imagine a month. a year. if i didnt take cab i can save so much la.
well, sometimes spending on cab are alright. hahahahaha. what am i talking.
i think im having sore throat. die. laugh at ching too much, now my turn.
oh ya, ytd was eating a kind of medicine. phytofibre. the taste sucks. and den i visited the toilet thrice. 11pm, 1am, 8am. OMG. i cant stand it. i dun like the feeling. too fake. but it get rids of those shit sitting in my intestine. but im not gonna take it again because i dun feel very well eating it. i think having a small tummy for a girl is okay. so goodbye to phytofibre.
ok la. back to projecting again.
12:02 AM
Sunday, November 11, 2007
alright...ytd was indeed a busy day....
in the morning, mum woke me up. bath and den we headed to jurong east for breakfast with my brother. den went to my granny's place. my grandpa not feeling well, so we went to see him, scared he got heart attack. reach there ard 10.15am. den did a quick make-up over my granny's place and den my bro drove me to causeway point.
met up with ching n geok. bought lunch over to kelly's place.
after tt i left ard 4.30pm. took a bus back home. sleep like pig inside the bus la. nearly cant wake up.
dinner at his place, den after a while met up with my parents to send my brother off to taiwan. saw my bf god-mum and cousins. saw benson from yuhua secondary. saw joyce from shuqun primary. and den my mum was chatting with her friends. we left changi airport ard 12 plus am. and den my dad suggest going for supper. so we had our supper at jurong east kopitiam. porridge...
and den reach home ard 2am. i didnt even bother to bath. was too tired. after removing makeup, straightaway head for bed.
alright, shall stop here. bb.
11:58 AM
Friday, November 09, 2007
i feel so sad....
today met ching and den we rebond at hair etc located at clementi. i thought that im still able to keep the length of my hair, but then...haix...it's so short now. thanks to the hairdresser zoe. so sad la.
if is ken cut, i think not so bad. and this was the first time i rebond for so long. from 11.30am to 5.30pm. haix.
but we chatted with the hairdresser for so long until 6 hr seems like only 4 hr. haha. we make fun of them, laugh at them, and they threaten us etc etc...and ching finally met her lover...WAHAHAHA.
now i cannot wear low-cut clothes, because dun have hair to cover cleavage when got se peh peh, now cannot wear bare backs because hair not enough long to cover my back. win lo.
spend ard 106.40 on this hair.
after rebonding, queeue for munchy donuts. i fell in love with oreo. haha.
after that went to meet up with my bf. on the bus, keep falling asleep. so paiseh.
ok la, end here le.
need to sleep early. tml is yet another pack day.
10:53 PM
Thursday, November 08, 2007
we went to MOS. crystal and szeling super high la. and that kelly...so funny...
was quite bored with the music initially. or i shouldnt even call that music. noise la. haha. we were kinda aware of guys ard. haha. after getting quite bored as it was packed, we went to tcc for super. choc fudge cake with vanilla ice-cream topping with oreo mocha frappe. shared with ching. and after feeling full, we went in again. hahaha.
there was a crazy guy. he shocked me by pulling my arms when we walk past each other. at first i thought was ching hui. but when i turn ard tt guy was smiling to me and den i squeeze my arms twice before letting me go...
but guys in MOS are quite polite. they will apologise if they cut thru us or when they accidentally brush past us. hahaha.
left the place ard 4 plus. manage to get a cab after so long. reached sze place ard 5plus and den immediately after removing makeup, i headed to sleep. woke up at 7 am, and drag myself out of sze's hse. slept on the bus. and den when i reached home, i cant even hold my keys properly. my bro have to open the door for me. haha. see how tired i am. and den after bathing and resting for awhile, dress up to meet my bf. lazy until change on the bed. haha.
went to his hse, and den since im super tired, lie down and sleep. for a while only. his bro bought us brunch. after that went down to the carpark to change the driver seat. polish the car for him. see, eat his brunch must use energy repay one. hahaha.
after 2 hrs, go back to his hse and den bath and while he was watching die hard 4.0, i was sleeping after munching a big bag of calbee potato chip.
this is sth very funny....
while i was sleeping, my bf was disturbing me after his show ended. keep wanting me to wake up. and den i dunno why, i started hitting him, punching him, screaming at him...i think i've gone crazy. and when i woke up, i knew i did hit him but then guess what he says...
'u look very funny leh. although u hit me ar, i still want to wake u n disturb u because u look so funny when u are angry. 2 yrs plus being together first time see u so pek chek when i woke u up. hahahaha'
so what should i react?
jump out of the bed when his bro got home. because his dog la....bark bark bark. i got a fright and just jump up. thought was 7.15, but then only 6.15. and my dumb bf hor... i ask him 'wah 7.15 liao ar, so late le. go eat dinner liao'. den he play along la.... 'ya lo, so late liao, u la, ask u wake up u dun wan'
den i walk to his living room with a blur look...chey...only 6.15.
went back to sleep until 7 pm. den wake up again. in between keep jumping out of bed. also dunno why.
fun fun fun...i love slacking at home, i love clubbing, i love sleeping, and
IHATESTUDYING
IHATERESULTS
IHATEAFA,MA.
waste my brain cell.
goodnight.
10:42 PM
Friday, November 02, 2007
i nearly acted childish today. because that fucker terrence ask my bf to help him make his window black-tinted . see how fuck he is la. and den my bf ask him to collect his car himself. he ask my bf drive to clementi give him. idiot. but then after that fucker's friend send him over to stamford.
sawal, z, my bf and me, waited for him. so long. den at first my bf say, later ask terrence to send us back. i immediately reject. i said i wan sawal to send us back. i dun wan to see terrence. and the moment i see his car, i feel like scratching it.
my bf went forward to talk to him when he arrive like 7.15pm. i stay at z car there. den after that z send us back. they having car racing. so shiok la. hahaha.
i dunno why. the moment i heard that terrence will be coming over, i was shivering like mad. i get so fed up. i so much feel like yelling and cursing him big time. and thats the reason why i really feel like scratching his car.
i have never hate my fling so much. maybe because he's someone who understand me a lot. but because he wanted revenge, he drag my bf to do things i dun like. and he scolded me that night. i dun wan to talk abt it, that's the reason why i said he's loser and a bastard.
went to sch to finalise IAP. nearly cant wake up. snooze my alarm for 5-6 times. end up because interval too short, i got so fed up that i give in to it. have some problem filling up form c. and when we were abt to consult jas or tommy, we saw caleb. den he told us that we wun be mark on the form c and that he'll be the one marking the IAP. cheerios. so happy. sms ching n kelly. ching's reaction was yea, kelly was ok. so dull. hahaha.
i dreamt of a lecturer last night. AGAIN. omg. if everynight i dream of him, i wun regret dying in bed. fwhahaha.
im feeling hungry RIGHT NOW.
but i need to lose weight.
facebook!
11:33 PM
Thursday, November 01, 2007
studying for test is really a waste on the brain cell. whats more...the IAP which seriously drove everyone crazy. one good example will be leader lye goh. read everyone's nick. some say wanna commit suicide. hahaha. that's life.
on the route of CSP. a module that is sth like company law. i wonder how sriven set his paper. i mean he says dun need to memorise. he dun believe in it. and so what do we have to study? by not memorising, like sth not right. like u didnt study at all. so....MEMORISE LA.
but then...
there's so much for AFA. if only my lecturer of AFA have the mindset of sriven.
and i have to adjust my body clock. i sleep at 2 plus going 3 every night. wake up at 11am. and my dad warned me abt it. because he says....sleep early n wake up early. but the prob is i wan to sleep early but i cant fall aslp. imagine it's already 2plus am, and den i cant fall asleep. damn it.
and i was sneezing the whole last night. that's simply the worst night ever.
and im tired at this moment.
and when i wan to sleep, i feel hungry.
let's just wait and see how much weight i've gained after MST.
alright. off to study cum projecting cum vetting winnie's neutral letter.
2:06 PM
