Sunday, September 30, 2007

im feeling a lil hungry right now.

went shopping with my bf just now. walk ard IMM...until my legs turn wobbly. bought a hello kitty cushion for his niece as birthday present. then bought bo luo bao from crystal jade there. haha. for tml's breakfast. yum yum!

in the morning, went out for breakfast with my parents and then headed to my granny's place. saw my cousin. and the worse thing is...i dun even dare to carry her. shame on me. haha. she cries loudly, she wants ppl to carry her. BABIES!! i want. anyone volunteer to give birth on my behalf??? hahaha.

oh ya, i saw a bra tt i quite like. but then when i thought of the rusty bras lying in my wardrobe...haha...but i love it. may be going back to get it when mum strongly disagree that i always spend on bra.

tml is monday...meaning must go to school....and going to school equals to BORING...and when AFA...i'll be thinking of...damn it la, why not jasmine ang...and then i'll feel so bored.

i haven finish my AFA homework.

i dun feel like attending sch because tml is children's day.

my throat is sick.

i wan to sleep.

i wan to watch youtube.

DO CSB LA!

10:12 PM

Saturday, September 29, 2007

my area caught fire. the praying den there. 1 woman resting inside. should say is sleeping. we witness the fire i mean not how the fire started, is how the fire burnt other things down. fire engine came. ambulance. and lastly the police. when everything was put out, den the police come. wapiang....good job lehx.

no doubt they still carry on as usual. i like it. at least they didnt think of giving up.

tml is von's birthday. haha. i know this girl reads my blog. so im wishing her a happy birthday here. haha. though im not joining u all for dinner, still must thanks szeling for asking me to go. haha. sorry for turning u down.

had so much for dinner. im so full now. minced meat noodles, ice-kacang and then the soup my mum asked me to drink. im so full...good night to sleep but then cannot la, too full liao.

how to jian fei???

i have a craving for ice-cream. finish period means can eat cold things. my logic. understand? can even jump roll freely. haha. seriously i hate period.

alright. done with entry. bb.

11:18 PM

sth is wrong....haha....no i mean my laptop. because i just cant freaking sign into msn. argh! shit. and there's a prob with my router!!! WHERE'S MY BROTHER?

just came back from breakfast with my parent. i got to do homework, csb and pack my files. seriously, im still on holiday mood.

next saturday got bbq at east coast park. i dread going there because im not a sporty person. i dunno how to cycle, how to blade. so my purpose of going there is to prepare food. u may think, hey this gal is so lousy, cant even cycle. yes, i dunno how to. because im not an outdoor girl.

i made a very very big mistk. im actually not broke for this month. is just tt i added another week for september. so von, remind me to return u the money for sl's present. and so i have spare cash for oct. hahaha. i think im the stupidest person on earth. it's until this morning when my mum gave me allowance for oct den i realise. if not, i'll still be thinking, hell, im damn broke. wahaha.

the dumbest thing u can do is to confess to me when u are already married and old. hahaha. no offences.

what is the thing occupying my mind is...cyst. actually im very very scared. im just afraid tt one day, it will turn into cancer. i dun wan to die of cancer, i dun wan anything painful. and still the same question lingers in my mind....why me? im nt searching for an ans, it's because only god knows. so what if i finally made the decision to remove the cyst, the right side will still get it. i've read the newspaper and they said tt there's an actress who's fighting with cancer. she has got ovarian cysts too and after removing she found out the other ovary has another cysts. argh!!! its making me confused. i missed many consultation. i should be visiting david now, but im scared of him....life is so meaningless...

grace from OD told me: your hormones. It is not regulating properly and normally and it is sort of ''haywire'' and it forms cysts over a long period of time

i dun doubt her words because she used to be a nurse in SGH and she's in oversea now being a nurse too.

alright, im off to do my stuff. bb.

10:29 AM

Friday, September 28, 2007

today dasmond and nat ho came to our sch and lecture hall (hey gorgeous). wow! dasmond is so handsome!!! *drools* haha. guess they went up and talk to our lec caleb lye!!! and haha, i dunno whether he understand anot...act only ma, on tv lehx. muahaha.

no no, dasmond is really good-looking. wonder why he didnt get married? hmmm...

anyway after sch, went to pioneer mall to look for tt jdab 'auntie' haha. didnt join my classmates cause i dun really fancy subway. haha. chatted with her, help her serve customer....and then stay at the shop till 5plus, headed to my bf hse because his mum asked me to buy sugar and papers for them. so walk to their hse and den went to fetch him at 6.15pm.

thanks von for updating me abt the winner. vincent...u win liao lo...why not my BELOVED!!! haha. lol. kidding kidding. what if SWAY found out. shit.

shall not say so much. must do work liao.

bb.

no more youtube.

11:37 PM

Thursday, September 27, 2007

shall update some photos. i dunno what i wanna say here. haha.

unglam us. (dun kill me)

cam-whoring

cam-whoring 2

act cute - failed (haha)

i love this spg, but no b**bs.

that's all for today. yawn!

11:47 PM

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

i think i'll have prob paying attention in class tml. because my active level can only like last for 1-2 hours. yawn!!!

too much slacking at home isnt a good idea. i sort of regret not looking for a job. i feel so broke right now. esp when there's notes and textbook. nvm, im going to 'shoot hand out for tea, and open the mouth when there's rice.' broken eng i know, but i dunno how to translate.

i've yet to redeem the ero thing.
i've yet to pack my files.

taking photos with friends and lecturers are fun. haha. it's good to have lecs who are not fierce. u can joke and make fun of them. haha. eg..........caleb lye. haha. kidding!

there's sth wong. very very wrong. i dun wan to know.

on random: sometimes i just feel so lousy. yes, what he says may be true. im such a lousy gf. i dunno how to be a good one either. all i think is myself, but at the end of the day, i didnt get the benefit. contradicting. blah!!! i dunno what im writing. i just feel so lousy.

off to watch youtube.

bye

11:49 PM

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

hmmm...today is my first day of sch. hahaha. went for lecture as usual. hoping time will pass faster. die...im still in my holiday mood.

went to look for jasmine ang, tommy yee and ng eng poh.

dissapointed tt jasmine ang wun be teaching us AFA. what a lousy system this sch has. at first when i see my time-table, so freaking happy because not caleb lye teach...is our cute jasmine teaching. see, put in high expectation but then...argh!!! (to his fan ar, im not saying he's not a good teacher, it's because we prefer jas) didnt expect it to be a part-time lecturer. why is our life filled with part-time, part-time and part-time. dun have j, give us t also can ma. humph.

nvm abt it, since l**** sch.

ng eng poh has a new room-mate. haha. say hi-bye to his new room-mate. not bad. think they makes a good mate. wahaha.

nth much to update.

i want to continue watching my youtube.

bb.

11:39 PM

Monday, September 24, 2007

the once a perfect guy in my eyes. the guy i fell in love at first sight. the first guy im willing to confess my feelings. the first guy which can make me happy for a moment and sad for the next. the first guy tt make me realised tt i love him deeper and deeper as time goes by....the first guy that makes me wait for his call day and night. the first guy tt until now, i cannot get my mind off him. and the first guy whom i love tt read my blog. the first guy tt i would want to take a look at as and when he's ard and within my sight.

i realised i still cant forget him...after so long...

but not to worry, i still love my boyfriend more.

i feel abit lost. lost in the sense tt i let my mind wonder off to the times spent with him together, recalling every single moment of love. his jokes and many more. i wonder why? why is it tt i can straightaway forget abt darryl as my fling, yet it took such a long time just to forget terrence. until now! 5-6 months since we are over. he still lingers in my mind.

okay, self-declare holiday. first day of sch=holiday. luckily monday dun have IAP. haha.

okay, it's the time of the month. yawn!

10:24 AM

Sunday, September 23, 2007

alright, ytd celebration for my mum's is a success. we manage to get our grandparents down without informing them tt it's my mum's birthday. but we have to fetch them here la. haha.

anyway this morning i went to malaysia again. wah, i hope i dun have to come back to s'pore. actually they have goods and their no good. haha.

the reason i wish to stay in msia is because it's stressfree there. everytime i go there, i will be free from those stress, hoping to stay there even longer. i dunno why. maybe is because i used to go to msia when i was very very young. like 4yrs old-primay sch lidat. and i like living there.

the reason tt make me feel like coming out of msia is, it's very dangerous. not as safe as spore.

went shopping with him after coming back to spore. i bought him a casio watch. wah, lidat 1 month dun need eat liao. realli is 'yi lu fa' 168 bucks. im seriously seriously BROKE! with no income but argh...nvm nvm. i owe him one. no birthday present no 2 yr anni present. nth. haha. so now must bu hui.

reached his hse, he go haolian to his father and bro. haha. took a bath at his hse, den chatted with his parents and bro. after tt had our sumptuos dinner and then....we SLEEP. i wanted to slp in the car one, but then i scared my father drive until sleep, so i force myself to be awake so in case my father sleep, i can yell and shout at him.

didnt buy much because im really tired there and i've got no more small change for ringgit. dear didnt bought anything too despite my father keep asking him if he wan anything. shy ba.

i really hate the weather. makes me feel like im getting hydrated in no time. argh!

okay, that's all. bb.

10:16 PM

Saturday, September 22, 2007

ytd was a tiring day. went to smu. and i have to wake up quite early and was late meeting kelly. haha. i didnt know i'll be late. haha. lunched at delifrance with my classmates. anyway after tt headed home. i hate the weather nowadays. it's so freaking hot.

went to AMK hub just now. visited my aunt too. and then headed to IMM to collect cakes and walk ard giant. and again, i hate this freaking weather. it's giving me headache. terrible one.

will be celebrating my mum's birthday later.

this is the reason why i 'hate' them. dun wanna mention anything here. ni zhi wo zhi.

bye.

3:41 PM

Thursday, September 20, 2007

alright, here are the photos from last night.

crystal, szeling, me and ah ching

grp photos -1st shot

grp photo - 2nd shot

ytd saw 2 funny things when i was on 106. firstly is, a china woman and her bf/husband boarded the bus. the woman was actually wearing a halter, but i dunno why she pull the back until so low and she was obviously not wearing a bra. and when she alighted at lucky plaza, 2 women were pin-pointing at her, because her nipple is OBVIOUS. it's so ugly la. and the women pin-pointing was irritated because....NOT NICE LA. wear until lidat.

second thing is, i saw a woman sitting outside meridien hotel there. she was only wearing a big size t-shirt and panty. sitting outside meridien with her legs wide-open. and i think she's bra-less too because it looks saggy. but not tt obvious. just her sitting posure that is....erm....hell ugly. at first i thought she was wearing shorts but on a second look, i realise she's only in her undies. it's.....

alright. what more do i have to say here? quite tired la. thought my bf will be free today but because he's busy...(not free means busy) so i have to stay home and do...nth but youtube. may be going over to IMM later to order my mother's birthday cake. celebrating this saturday lo.

ok, that's all. bb.

10:05 AM

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

went for dinner with my classmates at manhattan fish market @ plaza singapura.

nice.

very very full now.

met up with my bf at dover there. den he drove to my hse there for dinner. and me...drink tea...haha.

actually nth to update too. that's all.

bb.

10:57 PM

sometimes i really dun want to flare at them. but then they make me so-very-unable to tolerate until i just cannot control my temper. okay so this is how it goes....

my father wanted his car to be done by my bf. as in those nitrogen in the tyre, this and that. seriously, i wun side anyone here but i may just sounds like im siding him. it's been drag for some time because it's either it's pouring when my bf wanted to get the car or he's not free to collect our car.

my mother as a -dunno what is going on person- interfere.

my bf's bro is overseas working these 4 days, and so his car was passed to my bf for his transport. so he wasnt thinking of driving my father's car since he had another car.

and then my very dumb mother said: 'ask him to come and take today. the tyre no more air liao somemore the weather nowadays so good, and blah blah blah. ' and then i know what's going on la, so i said: 'he will get it on sunday night' den walau eh, she totally changed la, saying: 'everytime say sunday night, next time dun let him do liao la'

whether it was said out of anger or what, i cant be bothered. and so i tranferred the whole msg to him. because i think i cannot always let my parents be the 'winner'. it's not like my boyfriend owes u ppl lidat. he's so busy, but then...hey, wake up, if u wan ur car to be done, pls kindly drive there instead of him always having to be the one who comes here and collect. and if u ppl wants him to collect it, den pls kindly BE MORE PATIENT. there's nth wrong with our car.

why are u another xiaxue. dare to say it in front of us, dun dare to say it in front of him. i simply cannot stand this kind of attitude. he always undercharge us, help u do this help u do that, give u free things, add a broadway mirror...did he get any amt from u ppl? did u ppl even say a 'thank you'? instead, what did u ppl say, :'why spend this amt to buy another mirror, we are doing fine with the old one'.

please la, got anything go back to toyota la. dun even think of getting a cheaper servicing next time. i tell u, got anything go look for ur own ppl. he's not touching our car anymore and he's not going to help anymore. because u ppl are just TOO MUCH. and being a third party myself is also very tiring.

if i were to judge, i think it's my own parent's fault. they simply think too highly of themselves. that's what i hate abt them.

take for example, i've asked them to remove the double decker bed which always cause me to hit my head against it when i wake up, cannot study on bed because it blocks the light. u ppl drag for how long liao, how many months already? my bro can change new bed, i cannot. because he got himself a super single bed, i gotta take over his bedsheet. fine, everything tt is not good is mine. everything tt is good is HIS. i can be so patient over the months, over the years but my bf drag for some weeks only, and u can even say such thing.

i can seriously tell u, they love my brother more than me. and pls dun drag my father in because sometimes i can feel tt he is more concern for my bro. everything i do is wrong. even eating is a wrong thing.

see, my bro can scream and scold my mother. he can go out late at night. my mother can always be his alarm clock. while me, i have to wake up myself, have to set my own alarm clock, cannot scold her, cannot go out whole day, cannot even go out sometimes.

pls la, im already 18, going 19. i dunno when u ppl are going to stop controlling me. like ytd, when i said i wanted to go to ching hse, cause i scared later i cannot get the modules i wanted den i will start panicking, den she say why cant u do it at home. if ur laptop cannot, den use ur brother one. my laptop can register, just tt im afraid i'll be too nervous and end up with a gems i dun like. somemore, ive been staying at home, helping u teach my lil bro. with no income, nothing. end up, like i OWE u lidat. he's not even my blood brother.

i queue up for donuts, and they were like: 'why go queue for it?' and when i woke up this morning, 4 donuts were gone for good. 1 donut i wanted to try but didnt even get to do it. end up, did i say anything? see, my brother can buy donuts, i cannot. i must stay at home, do this do that. just SIMPLY STAY AT HOME.

now i realise how unfairly i've been treated.

i cnt wear certain clothes because it's not easy to iron it. i cnt wear jeans on rainy day because she will have too many clothes hanging in the kitchen which makes her difficult to cook. and almost all her reasons regards to washing, hanging out clothes and clothes and clothes and clothes.

sometimes i wonder, why my parents doesnt act like a parent?

and sometimes i really feel like shouting at my mother these words: 'if u dun like female, den u should have aborted me long time ago, why bother to give birth to me and treat me like shit, i dun deserve such treatment'. u once told dad:'aiya, bring her go eat lo, u only got one daughter only, u wan more daughter also dun have' seriously, stop ur act.

my father sometimes will say things to my sister which have NO BLOOD RELATION WITH US....see carefully, no blood relation one. he says my sis is more filial, im not filial because i always stick with my bf, he says she's his half daughter.

see! not i want to get angry or what. since she's more filial ask her to be ur own daughter, change the surname from ong to lau la. i dun give a damn! im always not filial. i bought u a $70+ wallet, and u ask my brother to use it since his wallet is lost. hey, WAKE UP. i bought it for u, and u in turn wans to give it to ur filial and baby son who is rich enough to get a wallet himself.

u said u like certain food, i nv fails to buy it back for u. just to make u happy. end up this is the FUCKING treatment im getting.

im so stupid im so dumb. i shouldnt treat anyone good in future. seriously i get nothing in return.

okay, my blood is boiling, so i shouldnt say too much.

8:50 AM

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

i went to ching's hse to reg for gems and found out that kelly ran away from home. because...her wireless a lil bit go haywire...so she angry with it and left home. haha.

after kelly helped me with registering, went online, visited some ppl's blog. haha. ate their salty cum sweet popcorn. took some funny photos. but not using my phone, so i dun have the pic.

went to suntec. subway for lunch. after that kelly n ching acc me to queue for donuts. yum yum! total spent on donuts is $19.50. im really really broke. argh!!! after buying, we walked ard there and then went into arcade. there's sth very funny, but dun wan say la...haha. and the 3 of us ended playing -basketball- and i sucks at it la. cause dunno how long nv touch balls like. (dun think crooked, is basketball)

den we walked to marina. ate anderson ice-cream. so funny. i took pic of my dirty teeth. YUCKS. haha.

had some quarrels.

took 106 back. den switch to 99. reached home ard 8pm. had dinner and then..watch tv lo.

alright...that's all.

bye.

10:35 PM

Monday, September 17, 2007

ytd we skipped bernard's baby girl's full month celebration and went ahead to his brother-in-law's treat for dinner. thanks alot. went to my granny's place early in the morning. left there ard 3pm.

bought a dress at J'dab again.

ytd, he again tried to pick fault with me. every single thing i do, i was scolded by him. makes me so freaking tired. freaking pek chek. and so i decided to IGNORE him. but seriously, i really dunno what's wrong with him. maybe he finds other girls better than me, and he's trying to make me ditch him so he wun feel so guilty.

it just came across my mind tt maybe i should really dump him last night. but everytime when i was abt to give up, he just manage to make me change my mind.

and because of these nonsense, i just uncontrollably broke down. the tears that have accumulated for so long.

i thought i could handle it alone, i thought i could face it alone, but right now i knew i cant. but no one can help. like as if they bothers. haha.

my mind was a lil bit occupied by terrence. i thought a lil abt him. but i knew everything was in the past. no point bringing it back.

school's starting soon.

10:59 AM

Sunday, September 16, 2007

UPSET! DISAPPOINTED! ANGRY!

i really dun wanna talk abt it, but i think he doesnt have much responsibility for me. we quarrelled a few times last night in front of his friends. and he gave me the black face in front of his friend.

im already very very nice le, what do u expect? i've already try to talk to you, tried to coax you. but u took advantage. if i didnt give ur friend face, i would have left. trust me.

ytd night, when i wanted to go to the restroom, my heels got stuck with the cloth covering the chair, nearly trip, and he just stood there, and ignored me. fine, well done boy. i'll rmb this for life. and fuck is, it's in front of terrence loo weng meng. my ex fling. he can show me his fucking black face, but i cannot even show a black face, i cannot even show a tired face. like i can control lidat. well, and thanks for telling me this is the last time u are bringing me out.

seriously, if u have other girls out there, dun ever look me up. i dunno what's the problem with you nowadays, always finding fault with me. it's not like i've done sth wrong. if other girls can satisfy u well, dun find me, dun ask me back. im tired, really tired. i nearly cried last night.

if not for alvin, i guess i still have to go up to my hse myself. really have to thanks alvin for asking him to send me to my house.

i just wanna say, if one day, i can no longer stand it, i guess my last and only choice is to give up this relationship. i find no reason to stay if this is the shit u are going to give me.

should i call myself stupid to be the one looking for u after ur work, or im just freaking dumb to always stay by ur side. what more do u want? haven i done enough for you?

if u can say 'quarrel ma, what for care if u trip or what.' and i knew what my future will be like. so let's put it in such a way, if one day, there's a heated argument going on, i trip and nearly roll down the stairs, u are not going to care? if one day i nearly fell out of the window while doing hsework, you are not going to care because we quarrelled before that? no, dun explain to me saying that's because at tt time u are angry, i dun wanna hear any explanation.

let's just put it this way, we've both wasted our 2 yrs, our time and money in this stupid relationship that is not going to work out. im not going to be the one looking up for u anyway. i swear, i bet.

seriously, there's nth for me to stay in this relationship. u've completely changed into a different person.

last night, the only thing that makes me happy is, terrence is wearing the earrings i bought for him. he steal glances at me. i caught him thrice.

thats all.

waiting for my dad to wake up so tt we can go over to granny's place later.

bye all.

10:20 AM

Saturday, September 15, 2007

i feel so tired though im the last to wake up.

went to rent 4 vcds. 1 free and the other one is 3 for 10 bucks. cant simply waste my $5 membership there borrowing only once right?

so 9.56, acacia, nightmare and lastly everyone has sercrets...waiting for me...hee.

tuesday will be the registration for gems. seriously i've never like gems classes. still pondering which should i choose. because for this sem, i die die also must take science and technology. ppl who knows me will know tt i hate science.

gotta spend another 15 bucks to temporarily rebond my hair. because of tt dinner. sobs.

told my parents abt my decision of learning how to drive. haha. bro recommends that i takes private since i've the time. and my dad's reaction is: '我早就叫你去考了'

and my mother's hope is that if i gets to obtain tt license, can drive my brother to his camp. wth.
still thinking of AUTO or MANUAL!!!

anyway the accident at tuas there. i saw it ytd. not tt i witness the whole accident, just tt i pass by when im picking up my bf. and....oh...i pity tt guy. he's like married for ard 2 years only. sad case!

i was reading the basic theory book tt my bro pass me. until i feeel like sleeping. haha. not tt im kiasu, im just 好学. haha. dun vomit okay. give me face. hahaha.

12:05 PM

Friday, September 14, 2007

i wanna get a driving license!

but im so scared!

shall i or shall i not?

but i find it so cool la.

but if i shall, then auto or manual???

argh!!!...siao liao la.

night.

11:19 PM

im still awake now. normally i guess this time sleeping like pig liao.

was chatting with junliang. and he told me how he eventually manage to pass me the 18 jin bu jin dvd. hahaha. he walked from jurong swimming complex to esso mobil and then cross the road to my hse and then drop the dvd into my letterbox. and then he walk from my place to lakeside mrt station with the company of his friend. wahahaa. thanks la thanks la. who ask u so dumb, dunno how to ask me take what bus. gei kiang la. and then he ended with a toot. but i dunno who is he referring to. maybe himself. hahaha.

im going to acc my bro to leng kee tml. and then we'll shop at the ikea near the borneo motor there. and im gonna bring my ever troublesome sis along. and i love her because she's been acting as my servant since then. nv fails to take things for me when i asked her to. haha. shhh!!!...

alright. gonna con't my 'change change love' aka 'huan huan ai' and the correct title is 'why why love'.

bye.

12:33 AM

Thursday, September 13, 2007

i've realised sth.

models doesn't dare to post their photos when they have very lil make-up on.

i dunno what to write le. hahaha.

10:53 PM

i didnt know so many visited. haha. anyway whatever it is, i guess i've pretty much 'heck abt it'. shall learn to be more matured le. =) and after speaking to her, i think there was some mis-understanding. yup...so everything is solve now.

bro's POP ytd ended quite late. and the bad news is....he will still remain in Commando training while his friend gets to go other camp. because he was 'lucky' to be within the top 45. he was in the 30th position for the physical training test out of 208 ppl.

my father honouredly put on his cap for him. horray!

i guess i won't be posting any of the pics up la. *camera shy*

went out with father and my younger bro just now. to look at a tree near my area.

let me show u the pic i've taken down.

it's a monkey

this is what the ppl wrote. cant read, click on the pictures

10:54 AM

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

i've seen my result.

happy or sad.

neither sad nor happy.

because i've put in my 100% effort.

i'll be busy these weekends. omg!

saturday have to attend dear's friend wedding.

sunday is his best buddy's daughter 1 month celebration. clash with my cousin's 1 month celebration. *scratches head*

moe update if i wanna do so tonight.

going to watch youtube.

*don't need to get back at me thru blog. because i dun give a fucking damn.

10:37 AM

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

some penny for my thought.

(if u find it offensive, just leave)

i was reading my friend's blog a few mins/secs ago. im not going to quote what she says, im just going to roughly says what she wrote.

it's quite true that at times, ppl thought we (owners of the blog) blog abt our daily life, blog abt our relationship etc is to gain attention. but i think such ppl are naive. really.

just take a look at this society. all the surroundings. look at ur own friends ( be it close or normal friends). how many ppl will actually listen to you rant, how many ppl can actually sit down with you and hear you complain. how many ppl will not get bored. how many ppl will gossip behind ur back. for me, i know who are gossipping, i can sense it. i know who are my true friends, i know who will cherish me. and i know for now on, i won't rant to any of my friends abt my relationship stuff. you know why....read on.

we create blogs because it's a place for us to rant, a place for us to record down our daily life, a place for us to keep our memories. only stupid and old fashion ppl will really pen (as in hold a pencil/pen and write down how they feels). ya, what my friend said is true, it's not like we purposely promote our blog. ppl read blogs through links. can we control?

like for my case, i only allow one of my friend to link my blog. and that is zh. (honoured hor). ppl go to blogsearch to look for other's blog. can we control?

c'mon, if u ppl want to read others' blog, than stop commenting that ppl are attention seeker. or should i just name u ppl as KPO. if you want to find out abt ppl's life and if you are unhappy with what they says just kindly click on the 'x'. what for comment on such thing.

there were times when i was feeling really really down. and blog is the only medicine that manage to make me feel better. even talking to friends, i feel awkward. because i know they are not true friends. more like acquaintance. ppl pretends that they understand me, but deep down, no one is able to do so. not even myself, let alone 'them'.

and because i've so many acquaintance...u will learn to realise that only a few of them is able to trace me down through msn. it's either i never reply or they simply cant find me. hahaha. get what i mean? go think.

relationship stuff is not what u ppl think it is. not easy to handle like what you ppl think it is...u think learning ABC ar. even the doctors also cant help those who fell out of love. c'mon, u think counsellor can help? if they can help, where got ppl commit suicide liao. hahaha. this is the time whereby friends will play an important role. she's lucky because she manage to have good friends around her. she manage to know friends who wun wear a mask. im so envy of her.

for me, i rather i handle everything myself. wait for friends = sky drop/ end of world.

ppl who actually give good comments...u know who u are. my OD pals. hee.

alright. i'll con't tml or maybe on thurs.

11:36 PM

im getting bored at home. must endure another one week plus and sch will reopen. somehow i think this holiday ended fast.

must ask my aunt out for some shopping soon. else i'll get so freaking bored.

was jun wei's birthday today. sent him an sms and he thanks me for it. talking abt him, i swear i will nv forget his birthday. every year i nv fails to msg him. haha. i think because of 911. hahaha. and i tell u i miss my secondary sch life so much. ppl in secondary sch are not so fake. serious.

back to taking a nap.

bye.

10:53 AM

Monday, September 10, 2007

since they cant be bothered to inform u, dun bother to even ask.

hahaha....

too bad, god have eyes. they made me see the evil side of you you you...yes you....

11:45 PM

i wanna sleep longer in this comfy weather...but my dad woke me up to look after my bro as he's driving the youngest one to school.

figure my way to open the can milk. seriously i dunno how to use a can opener. haha. stupid right?

my bro's POP on wednesday. *shrug* waste my time. im told to go...very unwilling lehx. all the way to pasir ris. omg!

my agenda for today is to watch youtube and sleep for the next few hours. or maybe borrowing dvds can burn my time. well it burns my pocket too. i've spent like so much for the past 3 days....im broke. please donate some money to my charity.

oh ya, as expected...daddy said to me this morning...'if u are going out for few days and not coming home pleae inform me in future and not disappear for a few days and then come back' hahaha...i've already expected that. so nth special.

im on a diet.

groof.....but im hungry....now!

12:15 PM

Sunday, September 09, 2007

he manage to convince me to sleepover at his place. hee.

friday...nth much to do. so went to giant and bought 5 packets of durians. shared it with his family members. and then i start to burp in front of him and right in front of his nose. and then we slept ard 11pm. can u believe it. haha.

sat...more sian lo. i woke up, wipe his window, mop the floor and wash his toilet. after that went to J'DAB at pioneer mall to chat with the auntie. haha. and then when her supplier came, i help her hang some clothes and then we were changing clothes for the manequin.

at night bought dinner back to his house. after eating, watch tv and then he helped his brother-in-law to do sth abt his car. dunno what la. and then we slept at 10pm.....

and then in the middle of the night...because of lack of water in the morning, severe sore throat. cant sleep. woke up to drink water. and then back to sleep. and then woke up again to look for toilet. and then pop a mentos to soothe the pain and then continue sleeping....woke up ard 10am. sore eyes.

bath and then off for breakfast.

curry chicken noodles...cant finish it. the day before didnt visit the toilet for big business. so i cant eat much. went back home and continue sleeping because the sore eyes is PAINFUL.

watch dvd after that. and then shop ard jurong point at 4pm.

bought a casio watch from vincent watch. he paid for me. and then he bought a bata slipper for himself which cost him 50 bucks. and then we walk ard and bought snacks.

okay la. there's nth much to talk abt here. i think i wanna con't sleeping. yawn!

9:58 PM

Thursday, September 06, 2007

i've changed my mind. i dun think i'll be putting up at his place. maybe at someone's place. but i wun reveal who this person is. =)

because of lies lies and more lies. wrong setting of stories.

im not stupid.

i was out with my aunt for the whole afternoon.

nth much. will update tml morning or monday...

yeah!

9:22 PM

i won't be home for the next 3 days. will be staying at his house...should say seeking for shelter. because i dun wanna add on to the load, i'll not bring my laptop with me. dun worry, im not chased out of the house, and im not running away from home. i willingly left home because im not happy in this house. it all depends on my mood. if i wanna return home on sunday, i will. if not i may be putting up at his place till monday, till tues or even the whole week. i dun care.

i wun even bother to inform my parent. u can call me irresponsible or what, i dun care. even if dad isnt involve in this conflicts, i wun tell him also. this is my temper. my character.

my lil sis bought so much chewing gums to my house. yummilicious. cheerios to her. thanks to her.

bro's pop is on the 12 of september. i dunno if i wanna attend. boring over there.

i was reading a girl's blog. i think she's pretty, but it was her fake eyelashed that make her look pretty. ppl commented that she photoshop her eyes to make it look bigger because on hey gorgeous, her eyes look small. i think they are so freaking childish. because if u wanna leave bad comments on ppl's blog, den dun read. why make ppl feel miserable? what have they gain in doing so? worse is they dun even dare to use their own name. hahaha.

alright....should i say im lucky because i've removed my tagboard. hahaha. alright. im off to packing my stuff.

10:22 AM

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

hmmm...

trying to talk some sense. hahaha.

chewing on gums.

life sounds so bored.

mum's not cooking these 3 days since my sis and bro didnt come. they went to kl and will be back tonight. meaning, my cooking lesson will resume tml. haha.

watching youtube. and then falling asleep. waking up for lunch and then helping mum with some stuff and then im back to my laptop to blog hop and youtube.

thinking of what i should do next.

fall asleep?
blog in opendiary?
watch youtube?

obviously, i've not started on tt dumb IAP. another excuse AGAIN. because my bro's laptop is too slow. hahahahahahahaha.....shoot me dead.

She leads a lonely life
She leads a lonely life

When she woke up late in the morning
Light and the day had just begun
She opened up her eyes and thought
O' what a morning
It's not a day for work
It's a day for catching tan
Just laying on the beach and having fun
She's going to get you

All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby
All that she wants is another baby
She's gone tomorrow boy
All that she wants is another baby

All that she wants - all that she wants

So if you are in sight and the day is right
She's a hunter you're the fox
The gentle voice that talks to you
Won't talk forever
It's a night for passion
But the morning means goodbye
Beware of that is flashing in her eyes
She's going to get you

All that she wants...

i usually do things for a reason. =)

soon you will find out what im pondering on. hiak hiak.

3:12 PM

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

im just back from m'sia ard 6 plus. went in to malaysia at ard 9 plus in the morning. pick my aunt and my cousin and then....vroom to m'sia. and hell, there's a lot of cars going there. all should i say the custom attendant are WOLS. hahaha.

and this was a funny incident that happen...

my aunt was driving our car because dad was thinking of taking a nap. but because my aunt was so violent...haha...she didnt step the brakes for hump and dad was so angry that he cant sleep eventually and then halfway thru, he ask my aunt to switch. meaning, dad will drive and she sit at the other side. hahaha. and dad complain to my mum that she took such great care for her car but use my dad's car to ram. and to make things worse, our car is less than 1 year old.

anyway when we reached my uncle's place, my uncles' wife joined us for brunch. dim sum. den spend sometime looking for mooncake. tried many favours.

and then....high tide....hahaha...needed the toilet, and that tt dumb supervisor asked her attendant which is a GUY to bring me to the toilet BEHIND. i refused to move. and then no choice, that guy ask another girl to bring me instead. and when i went into the toilet, within 1 secs, i turn around and walk out because so dark! haha. and im scared.

went to have my eyebrow trim. cheap.

and then my uncle drove me ard because im looking for chewing gum. xylitol strawberry favour. hee. isnt easy looking for it.

den we ordered the pizza. not as nice as singapore one.

left for singapore ard 4 plus. to my granny's place and then send my aunt back.

so tired!

8:57 PM

Monday, September 03, 2007

i went out for breakfast with my parents. and then went to walk ard in sheng shiong which we didnt buy much. after that dad drove us to the market. and this is what i saw.

1st shot:

(trying to act as a kid sitting at the -gorgor beh. haha)
2nd shot:

(trying to walk away because he knows im taking his pic)
3rd shot:

(owner ask him to sit)

i love this dog because it's big and beautiful. (dun believe,ask chinghui. she saw this dog b4 too)-regret not bringing my cybershot phone instead. and i tell u, if this is mine, im gonna love it to the max. but right now, adopting a dog is a no-no to me. hahaha.

after that went to singapore pools with my mum. guess what happen....hahahaha...

i was chase out by the counter. she politely says: xiao mei mei, wait outside okay?
and i look at her with a blur look. ignoring what she says. and den my mum told her, she's already 18+ le. hahaha. had a great laugh.

damn it. received a private call from a bastard. and this is the conversation:
me: hello, who's this?
me: hello, hello....(irritated and about to hang up)
bas3rd: hello, you forget me already?
me: huh? who's this!
bas3rd: (mumbling away and i dunno what he's talking...)
me: (hang up)

thought was terrence loo, but that doesnt sound like him because this guy have a pervert tone. so my guess was : it's either steven or another terrence (not loo)
->http://profiles.friendster.com/8757707

fucking sick in the mind.

he was the one who lied to me telling me how confuse he was abt love and he wanted to ask me, to chat with me to know more abt girls and den cheat me into giving him my hp no. den he called told me how he manage to satisfy his girl with his big dick when he previously told me he has never touch his girl (as in hanky panky). and then tell me abt his gf's high sexual desire. and how his gf's dad feel safe abt allowing his daughter to be with him. haha.

and when he called the second time, third time and so on, i refused to pick up his call. and i guess that's the reason why he used other numbers to call me. and sms me. in which i didnt reply too.

alright that's all for that bastard.

let's talk on my love life. (this is my blog, so i guess ive the right to say what i want even though readers are bored)

actually i wanted to prove to him on how much he meant to me. but then he never get the hint. he dun get what i mean sometime. i always place him before making any decision. i ensure i have the time to meet up with him. i ensure i got there before he knock off from work.

although sometimes we quarrel over very very small matter, i usually regret after that. dunno why.

i accompany him to watch shows even though im not interested. like those fighting shows,those car racing thingy. whenever i goes out with my parents, i'll think of what thing he needs. like soap, gel, coffee etc. i dunno why too.

so the conclusion is, he stands a higher percentage in my heart.

hahaha.

this entry is completed at 17.01

11:17 AM

Sunday, September 02, 2007

because i gets so bored...it gives me the reason to blog the 2nd time for today.

im hungry right nw. but because i've brush my teeth, clean my face...i cant eat anything. mentos and toblerone lying on my table and im looking at it helplessly. maybe have a bite of toblerone and then pop a mentos to clean my teeth...??? good idea. haha. but hell no, i wanna lose weight.

i know i've to change. my attitude, my character, approximately my everything. i've tried. but i still goes back to square one. what's the use of keeping all the un-happiness inside my heart and not voicing it out. it's not like he will know what im thinking. i've tried to voice things out, but what i get in return was his scoldings and his even more un-happiness in me. im tolerating.

i dun wanna let you go and this is the reason why i chose to stay in this relationship. because you are the one who can give me the feelings of falling in love even after so long. you are the reason why i chose to live. i just want to be with you every moment, to be there for you when u needed me. yet i hope u'll treat me the same. im not asking too much, am i?

i hope i can hold on to this roller-coaster relationship.

off to sleep.

11:13 PM

my dreams never fail to make my sleep fruitful.

im going to mention one of the lecturer i've dreamt abt ever since sch started. and that's tommy yee! the night before AFA paper, i dreamt of him. i cant exactly rmb the dream but i knew he was in my dream. and during AFA paper he happens to be the invigilator for our class. and i hate to admit he distract me during the paper. because he walks around and my eyes nv fail to look at his back view. wahaha. i just admire him as a teacher, so szeling dun get annoyed. hahaha.

past previous night, i dreamt myself riding on dad's bike. and im the one driving (i dunno what should i call it) and then i scratch his tyre rim a lil and he said he wanted to change the rim. and there was a night when i dreamt of driving dad's car and i cant rmb what happens in the dream. hahaha.

stupid dreams.

and then i dreamt of 4D. 1100 was the second, and then for the starter there's this 1010. hahaha.

but last night, i dreamt of him telling me, : can i send ginger back home before fetching you. and i couldnt stop questioning him who ginger was.

i used to believe dreams are just the opposite of reality, but now i choose to believe dreams are trying to hint sth to someone. well, who cares.

i only have myself to blame because im not a perfect girl, im not a gentle girl, i fight back, i bite, i scratch, and i pinch. that's me, and i cant be bothered abt what ppl thinks of me. accept me for who i am, and not what i am. i'll rather be myself than act as if im someone else. way too fake!

im going to take a short nap.

good'night'

1:56 PM

Saturday, September 01, 2007

how should i start? in chinese or in english?

alright, guess english is better.

i dunno if im thinking too much. i hope im not. i always made myself believe that he will always love me, i forced myself to believe this. 2 whole years and a fucking 2 months. i knew im trying to make myself feel better, to make myself have more confidence and trust in this relationship. however sth made me change my mind. sth which i will nv forgive him if it's true.

ppl says white lies can be forgiven. but to me, it depends on who and what the white lies relates to.

he seems to be giving money to someone. that someone wasnt his family members, definately not me, and who else can it be?

i knew all along, it was lies, lies and more lies. yet i forced myself to believe every word he says because many ppl told me - trust is the key to a successful relationship.

it's not because i dun want to trust him, it's because guys will usually take advantage of the trust given by us. not once, but twice, thrice. or maybe because of the many unsuccessful relationship in the past that makes me unable to trust guys.

i knew i've drag my visit to the gynae for quite some time- 5 months to be exact. i should be visiting my gynae but yet i keep giving myself an excuse that im not free, im too busy, im broke to visit the doc abt tt dumb cyst.

because no one knows my fear of visiting that gynae, no one knows how fierce that gynae was, no one knows how scared i am to faced the fact, no one ever face such things alone and so no one knows how i feel. even when michelle - my uncle's wife, asked abt my condition, i just told her it's not giving me a prob right now. because normally i dun feel hurt unless when it's very near my period, when the eggs are moving and going into the uterus, that's the time when the pain occurs. and i have abnormal bleeding and painful menstruation. sometimes it causes pain for my back. or maybe sth was wrong with my kidney. i dun want to know.

whether my cyst have grown into cancerous lump (because my gynae told me if there's clotted blood, i may have to remove the cyst) , i don't know. and i don't want to find out. if god wants to take my life away, that's sth which i cannot change. that's also the reason why i haven been seeking medical attention. what i can confirm right now is my inability to give birth in the future (unless the cyst are removed).

i've got to be strong to go through this ordeal. because no one will share my pain. and i will never let my parent share this pain too.

silence.

10:23 PM

went out with my family for breakfast at jurong east. and den headed to bukit batok and then tamah jurong dbs for a talk abt investment.

tt lady damn funny la. ask my dad to let me half study half work after graduating. dumb!

after that acc my mum to check her eyesight. and then i ask that man to check for me too. and he said the machine screen that i've some short-sightedness in my right eyes. and then he did a practical test for me but everything was okay. scare me. im so afraid of spectacles. because i look so freaking ugly in that. hahaha.

bought bubble tea, fries and waffles after that.

i've been really slacking badly at home. it's time i start on my dumb dumb iap. waiting for my bro to go back to his camp so i can use his laptop for java. see, lousy laptop of mine. cant d/l java.

im thinking of rebonding my hair again. but but but....im not working this holiday. so... no money. i dun wanna use my allowance because tt one is use for shopping. haha.

yet i think this holiday is too short. although i got nth to do.

maybe going to the library someday to borrow some dumb books to past time.

dumb pimples....please go away. im only left with 14 days to let you heal because i got a dinner on 15. please please.....

2:24 PM