Saturday, June 30, 2007

at marina with von ching kelly mond

before going to clarke quay for dinner

2:11 PM

Friday, June 29, 2007

tired!

after c law went for mac breakfast and then headed to marina square for a lil window shopping. haha. and den went to boat quay mind cafe.

im at a lost of words. wahhaa.

i think i shall end here.

bye

10:11 PM

Thursday, June 21, 2007

at first i wanted to visit my gynae...but i dunno why, maybe i dun hve the courage. the pain cause my thighs to hurt a lil, come and go as and when it likes.

i dun have any positive thinking and i knew i needed operation. not as simple as i thought.

didnt do much studying today because i was busy playing with my lil bro and sis.

im gonna glued my butt to the chair tml.

off for tv.

8:49 PM

Everyone feels despondent at times and you are no exception. You are feeling so depressed because it seems that everything that could go wrong has gone wrong and you don't quite know which way to turn. So like the proverbial ostrich you are trying to bury your head in the sand. But that won't work - you have to face reality.

You are a very warm and emotional individual but unfortunately in the past too many people have taken advantage of this sensitive trait. You need aesthetic surroundings, or an equally sensitive and understanding partner with whom to share a warm understanding.

You are not an argumentative sort of person and 'rather than fight - you'd switch' (an old cigarette ad cliche). But when you try to assert yourself - as sometimes you may try to do - you meet with so much resistance and effrontery that manifests itself so obviously that you become hurt, indignant and resentful. So in order to have peace and quiet you tend to become inhibited. You keep it all to yourself but deep down, you 'feel' and 'hurt' a lot.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can 'Let your hair down' and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

At this time you don't particularly like yourself. Everything that you have tried to do seems to have gone wrong. This makes you feel that there is no point in trying to start again. Apart from being stressed and tense, you are angry with yourself and have unadmitted self-contempt. Your refusal to admit that you and you alone is the basic cause of your problems leads to you adopting a headstrong and defiant attitude. If you take stock of yourself, smile a little and let go, everything will turn out OK. Have you not heard of the cliche 'smile and the world smiles with you - cry and you cry alone!'?

12:23 AM

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

sometimes i just hope u were there for me when i needed you. yet time and again im the one facing everything alone.

past few days have been feeling sick in my stomach. too gassy causing me to burp for no reason. i dun feel hungry, i dun feel full. want to vomit but nth comes out. mummy ask me to apply ru yu you. the oil baby always apply one. sweat a lot in the middle of the night.

told him abt it, he just said go and see doc la. he nv made an effort to visit the doctor with me, nv make an effort to visit me. it's not tt im thinking too much or what. for this 2 yrs, he's only visited the doc with me once. everytime when he's ill, im the one who acc him to the doc, look after him at home, give him medicine.

all he could provide was money which is of no use to me.

cysts hurt. and when i told him, all he said was 'go for ur checkup la, i pass u my atm tml u go. if not keep worrying here also no use' see, i have to face everything by myself. i think i can predict tt when im in the hospital to operate (if suay suay it expand) den i still have to be the one lying down there with the companion of my parents. and so let me just say sth here, if touch wood i have to undergo operation, he'll be the last to be inform. im sorry to say this but this is the treatment i've been getting from u, and so let's jus be ignorant.

im going to bed. night.

11:35 PM

Monday, June 18, 2007

not yet rebond

after rebond

i feel so tired!!! i needed slp...and more...

wanted to slp till ard 10 plus but my stomach was too hungry for me to continue.

stayed home the whole day.

11:29 PM

haven been online for sometime. and this explain why i didnt blog at all. haha.

anyway i've rebonded my fringe. luckily the process is only 1 hour. haha. rush off to meet my bf.

went dinner with them for father's day. haha. but guess i was too hungry and so i didnt manage to finish up the rice.

pictures will be uploaded by tml. haha. i mean pictures of my fringe. muahaha.

it's time i start studying for tt dumb dumb MST. like i've been spending the weeks like tap water. didnt do anything much. argh!!!

i dunno what to write.

bye

12:03 AM

Friday, June 15, 2007

not feeling very well. the feeling of wanting to vomit. cysts hurt a lil every now and then. bloated all the time.

ever since his dad was admitted to the hospital, everyone in the family starts to feel uneasy.

his mum- diarrhae, vomitting, fever -> over anxious
his elder sis- fever
baby- fever, vomit, diarrhae
his brother- in thailand, having fever
dear- he complains tt he isnt feeling well, headache etc
me- feel like vomitting

maybe it's the hospital tt we aren't comfortable with la. well, i dunno.

reached home, make coffee-milo for myself, but i cant finish it. not even half the cup. and my cysts is hurting now. wth!

i think im turning in early. dad's bringing me out for breakfast tml.

bye.

11:09 PM

Thursday, June 14, 2007

i wanted to start my revision for MST but there's so many things happening and i dun think i can absorb.

i didnt really sleep last night. i couldnt. or should i say im too scared. after visiting the hospital, i felt like vomitting. dun feel well at all. usually i wun wake up in the middle of the night but then when my bro got home ard 2am i woke up too. i didnt close the door of my room because scared ma. and then my bro closed it for me. haha.

i was awake for dunno how long la. toss an turn, sit and lie. im so afraid of being lonely.

i cant imagine myself lying down there to remove the cysts. im really very scared. i think if i need to undergo operation, i'll plead with dear to stay with me there.

quarrelled a lil just now. ended with me crying. no worries, i still love him. he's still my silly boyfriend. just that sometimes i really cnt take it when im being scolded for nth.

alright. im done with this entry.

9:24 PM

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

i feel very uneasy.

dear's dad had a heart attack in the middle of the night. the 2 brothers sent him into the hospital immediately. i only got to know it ard 6am in the morning because dearie seldom call me or msg me in the middle of the night.

went to sch for the islamic thingy and then went to visit his dad. sometimes it's not tt i dun want to visit ppl in the hospital, it's because i dun like the smell in the hospital and i felt very scared visiting the toilet. i dunno why, i just felt very uneasy.

and dear promise me not to smoke anymore.

it's a tiring day for me.

go watch tv le.

9:00 PM

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

this is specially for ching hui. see how lucky u are.

before haircut

after my haircut

12:56 PM

i dreamt of him last night. maybe that's what ppl says as what u think in the day will be what ur dream is abt. i dreamt of terence. dun ask me why. previously was chatting with ching abt terence and last night i dreamt tt he called me.

chatted with darryl on msn ytd. i deleted him off my contacts but im still visible to him. hell! i dunno why, out of so many fling, i realise i dun really like dar. haha. so funny right. till now whenever he talks to me or what i feel disgusted. when he saw me in sch he'll get close and pat my head. sometimes i feel like telling him off because i dun like it BECAUSE he was the one patting. i only let 2 person pat my head hor. one is my guy and the other...i dun wanna say. and there's this funny conversation:

him: u got miss me?
me: no
him: u change le
me: is it. in what ways?
him: last time u say u gt miss me
me: did i? i cant rmb
him: u really change le
me: wadever
him: haix

i dun hide my feelings so if i really miss someone, i'll say so. but for him....tt's a big NO NO!

im actually considering if i should cut my fringe. it's below my chin already. remind me of secondary sch where i got no choice but to let it grow. haha. and it's been 4 months ever since i cut my hair. the hair behind will deinitely left un-touch. what im more concern abt is my fringe. haha. junliang says to cut it at the level of my ears and to cut it slant. ching ask me to try straight. but i think straight dun really suits my face. and therefore....im going to my hairstylist later and let him do whatever that suits my face. wahaha.

im gonna continue my wei xiao pasta. bbz. more updates at night IF POSSIBLE!

9:43 AM

Monday, June 11, 2007

yucks! you sucks. dun wan to help just say la. give so many excuse for what. shitty shit.

11:25 AM

Sunday, June 10, 2007

im back. heex. and i realise i dun miss home at all because i enjoyed myself despite the very boring activities there.

ytd reach dear's place, and den waited for his relative to call us. after reaching m'sia, altis bmw subaru kia and mitsubishi were racing with each other. and we were in the subaru car. wahaha. it's fun la but dear's mum dun have the guts.

went into the 'bungalow' place our stuff and change. i love the environment there because we were facing the 'sea'. it's dirty but i like the feeling. most of the time were spent walking in and out to buy lots and lots of tidbits. total cost on the things me n dear bought reach to abt rm200. this does not include the thing his bro bought.

there isnt much seafood la. what the hell!

left the place ard 1pm and we were the first to leave because everyone is leaving at 3pm. haha. nearly lost our way. u-turn for 2 times.

reach dear place, they were watching pirates of the carribean and im slping. haha. can u believe it. i slept the most at kukup and when im back in s'pore i slept the most again and on the way to s'pore im sleeping too. argh!!!

what have i become??? pig?

alright i shall end here. bb.

9:48 PM

Friday, June 08, 2007

im so looking forward to tml's trip to malaysia. mummy gave me 50 sing dollars. should have gave me rm. haha. luckily i still got ringgit with me those ang bao money from my malaysia relative. heex.

haven been doing my tutorial properly. is either half done or not done at all. and im so afraid tt i cant finish studying. you know the thoughts when u didnt get to enjoy much holidays and den got so many projs and now test. everything seems NEVERENDING.

sometimes i feel blessed in this family. they wun stretch out hand to get money from us, and everyone is very cautious abt spending money every month ensuring there's sufficient amt at the end of the month. and for this i feel lucky. i think ching know what im talking abt. i always rant at her. muahaha.

i shall not talk much abt money issue. it's too sensitive to me. but i know the reason mum gave me money. she want me to pay everything by myself and not spend a single cents from my boyfriend because dear still have to pay for his -so lucky- parents. and they are treating him as an atm, getting money from him anytime and expect him to give him when they ask for it. what the hell! dear's very fed up with his dad already because his dad work for so long but didnt even give his family any cents and dear still have to lend him every week.

argh!!!!!!! i feel so lucky again!

9:51 PM

Thursday, June 07, 2007

i feel so tired despite slping for so long. haha, nvm abt that.

didnt really go shopping. just walk ard jurong point and what we bought was food, food n more food. becoming PIG! haha.

bought breakfast for him and den we continue with the american's haunting. after the show watch another one which sucks la, so we slept. and tt funny guy woke up saying he wanted to re-watch the initial d. wahaa. in the end we went out at 2pm and the sun was such a killer.

i bought a guy laroche wallet from wallet shop for dad. haven even got pay jiu spent money liao. *shake head*

came back and i took a bath thanks to the sun. have dinner and den it's unbelievable... we slept from 6plus to 8plus. and i jump out of bed because it's like only a few mins have past. i think we are pigs in our previous life. haha.

alright i think it's either i sleep or watch wei xiao pasta. heex.

11:18 PM

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

shall do a quick update. heex. tml no need to attend sch, super shiok. the girls in my class are gonna blade n swim but haha, im not joining them. im meeting my boyfriend!!...it's our 2 yrs being together.

though there are many ups and downs, i still love him. im not sure of tml's program but i think we are gonna stay home for dvds. though this is a good time for shopping, but i dun really like crowds. heex.

im going malaysia with them. finally i got the passport from my father. wahaha. finally he agree into letting me go with them. it's the celebration of father's day for my family and my bro is treating them to dian xiao er but maybe i dun hav the fate to eat it, so heex...dun care la. i think i'll get dad sth.

this week past so quickly. i think in no time, it'll be MST. another nightmare. imagine not paying attention for CF, C law lesson. how to survive???

okay im gonna fill my brain with wei siao pasta later. bb.

10:49 PM

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

oh so sad!!...i was actually given an assignment every friday at the end of the month, but got sch, got pp and the time doesnt match. it's sony ericson one. WASTED! nvm, studies come first. cannot because of money den...haha.

so many sinful food today.

went to bugis with sl, von, ch after sch. shop ard. bought pancakes and ice-cream while walking. yummy. and what surprise them was...i didnt buy any clothes today. wahaha. that's like so unlike me, and they were like, 'huili, you today haven buy until anything yet lehx'. haha. so funny.

after bugis street, went to bugis junction. wah piang thanks to my stupid heels, hurt my toe until bth. luckily i got to sit down in mrt and slp. wahaha. was so deep into slp until i don't even know im at clementi liao. lucky lucky. woke up in time to alight at je.

since no dinner tonight, so decided to go home, take a bath and then catch some sleep and den...buy dinner. and guess what i have for dinner. half fried spring chicken!! and i finish everything. big big appetite.

no more heels tml. im gonna wear slipper.

alright, should i con't the dumb dumb MA???

8:08 PM

Monday, June 04, 2007

things are getting OUT OF HAND!!! haha...lol. no worries, it's only girls complaining that they are getting older from yr 1- yr 2 - yr 3.

IAP presentation...i think i didnt do well because i've got no chance to ans any qns. forget it...haiz. since it's over, dun talk abt it liao.

went to cine subway for brunch. on the way there was complaining to ching hui. and i think im still very energetic despite the 4 and a half hour slp having to wake at 5.30am to prepare myself. after cine, went to shop for cosmetics. *self declared bankrupt*

and then went over to szeling hse. since gh n mely were watching dvds, the 3 of us, von, sl n me were in her room looking at some photos in the past. really in the past. seems like some 4-5yrs back when it's only 2-3 yrs. i think if i take out my 4-5 yrs old photo, the difference will be more exaggerating.

yr1

see, they like to take candid shots. *shake head* and i didnt know these photos exist till we were looking thru the photos in sze's com.

yr3

11:28 PM

Sunday, June 03, 2007

i've enough! enough of every shit from him. tolerance, patience, love, feeling...ALL GONE! i dun wanna talk much. i really really hate him. and im glad im single now. thanks for granting this wish for me.

tml presentation. me n kelly. i lil scared. because i was very very unprepared. before tt attended baby's full month buffet at woodlands and den watch tv etc etc. although there's sth in my mind making me feel disrupted, i tried ignoring it. haha. and guess what, i've not done any tutorials for this week. congrats to me. not even company law. die die die. raymond is going to, 'ms gentleman/ms lau...'

如果感情能说分就分，还有什么用呢?

9:55 PM

Saturday, June 02, 2007

finished work at 5pm. it's pure tiredness earning that 80 bucks. having to walk ard orchard, approaching some unfriendly ppl along the streets and etc etc...esp ah bengs, they are the WORST!

at first i was panicking on where health promotion board was, and im just so lucky. dad was asking me where's the venue and he drove me all the way there. yippee!!! solve my morning illness.

my toe hurts, my stomach or rather the bones at my hip got blue-black. it's not worth at all. sobs!

sometimes i caught myself thinking of him, and i dunno why. i knew i miss him, but yet again i dunno what is stopping me from contacting him etc. i feel so confuse.

i love boston. -you don't know me, you don't even care-

i hate the way u spoke, i hate you so much so that sometimes i feel like killing you.

bye.

10:15 PM

i want to blog but im tired!

12:07 AM