Thursday, June 29, 2006
DECEMBER BABY?
This straight-up means ur the most good-looking person possible... better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. one guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. loves music. pretty/handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive.
[A hott new guy/girl will catch your eye & you will catch theirs too in the next 6 days, if you repost in 5min]
haha, came across this when i was scanning thru my emails. haha. kinda true la. haha.
=)
11:28 PM
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
突然决得我对他的感情淡了。我发觉到我们的距离越来越远了。很想放弃因为我觉得他所做的一切都在伤害我。以前那温柔的对待到了哪里呢？我相信只有你自己知道吧。我一直没有勇气告诉你， 对不起。
haix, i dunno wad to say here. dun have the freedom all of a sudden. haha. may be blogging it down in opendiary later. it all depends on my mood ba.
still i will say, it's gonna be a boring day ahead. damn.
10:39 AM
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
i wun hold on anymore now. i believe if its meant to be over, den let it be. i dun wan to force ourselves anymore. we are not compatible. the fate between us have faded. im not going to say wad happen, im not going to consider abt breaking, not going to salvage this r/s. im not going to do anything now, because i have to let go.
sch was interesting today. didnt pay attention during rwps, was too busy surfing the net. after tt went for lunch at fdcrt4, den went back to self-access to play. haha. we were prolly making a fool of ourselves and we have some 'audience'. haha.
went for lecture after 2 hours break. lecture was interesting too because the malay guys sitting in front of us were funny. lighting a lighter and placing it near his frens. haha. luffing like crazy.
after tt went to clementi with geok hong and ching. bought 4D, den ching bet on balls. haha. after which we shop ard ntuc den leave le.
tml will be another boring day.
10:26 PM
'im disappointed with your results, i believe you are also disppointed.i expected better results from you. you can understand my teaching in class and i like the way you speak up. but why do you leave blanks and you wrote 2 pages long answer unlike your other classmates. i wan you to come and look for me if u dun understand anything. i dun tink you are intimidated by me right? you dun have much prob with ur english ya so if u dun get at least a B for your BLAW, i dun wan to talk to you next time.( i guess it's jus a joke la)'
so this is roughly what dennis sim told me in class when he gave me my papers. yup, im very disappointed with my marks, disappointed with my performance. wadever. what's done cannot be undone.ching we mux buck up le.
bf either busy with work or busy with installing the new dvd system he jus bought. dun even know who to talk to. feeling abit unwell today, my gum guess is swollen because of the ulcer. i cant eat hard food, it makes me headache. worse of all, it spoils my entire mood.
he called @ 10pm. ask me why i nv call him. haa. forget it. after tt he asked me, 'you gt nth to say to me meh'...'nope'...somehow i felt so distance from him.
what does one feels when you felt tt someone have been scanning thru ur things, rummage thru ur stuff? ok, im one victim and i hate it because she's always doing tt. ok to avoid any misunderstanding, im referring to dear's mum. she rummage thru our tidbits, which i hate it, den ask us for one packet when we reached home.ytd we lan lan gave her the Lays potato chip which we bought for $3 plus. mi and dear cant even bear to eat it, den his stupid mum, i tink she aim very long le, give her choc she dun wan, give her this she dun wan, die die also wan the potato chip. f***.
11:24 AM
Sunday, June 25, 2006
wah, so long didnt update le. haha. because recently im too engrossed in my 'devil beside you' show. haha. going to finish watching le.
tml sch reopen le. boring. u know wat, i wan more holidays. i haven play enuff, slp enuff, watch enuff show, shop enuff. haix. sad sad sad. i wan another week of holiday can?
today went shopping with collen. bought my crown belt, skirt n bag. haha. spend ard 50 plus. under control le. looking at my bank account, i realise i spent ard 200 for this month. haix. tml eat grass le. sobx.
wondering if i should stay up to watch tv again. im scared tml cannot wake up for sch sia. haha. die die die.
shall end here. bye.
10:45 PM
Thursday, June 22, 2006
bloody hot. i know weather has not been good recently. but haha, im in the kitchen n mum is cooking. tt's why i feel
hot. so hot that i feel like screaming u know. haha. farnie.
hmmm, if everything goes well, i may be meeting junjie to get the devil beside you dvds. hopefully can. i wanna watch. haha.
these few days have been playing fish money. haha. can u imagine me straining my eyes in the wee hours jus to play tt. tt isnt me. haha. and when i feel like slping ytd, i couldnt. so awake. boo!
suspecting sth amiss. shall wait till everything is out den i will say here. heex.
wanted to start on the rwps report writing, but hell, i dunno how to. find out tt our questionnaire very difficult to arrange. haix. nvm. but can anyone tell me when we have to hand in?
realised i've been snacking on honey corn during the hols. so dun be surprised when everyone sees a fat me. haha. okok, mus control le. exercise, exercise exercise. but ever since last fri, i didnt go running let alone gym. ching run run run.
i wan to go back to slp.
10:07 AM
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Was utterly disappointed, sad and irritated. Somehow I want to be single again. I dunno why, so don't qns me abt that. C have started contacting me ever since he noticed me shopping at jurong point. I know you people might think that im flirting ard again but sorry to disappoint u ppl, im not.
C had been going after me when I was in sec 3. He’s already attached, so am I. Somehow I could interpret his words from those messages, but I dun feel anything for him. No worries.
This morning quarrel with him again. Called him ard 8 plus, he sounded so rush, so I asked him, ‘u very rush meh’, den he say ‘you know wad time already?, my time shows 8.15am’ (when mine shows 8.08am) so I told him, ‘go la, go and work la, I wan go back to sleep le’. Someone not happy already. Scolded me throughout the whole conversation, said im the one looking for a quarrel. When his mum was ard in the living room with him. After tt put down the phone.
He missed call me for 10 times. I dun wan to pick up. I know im looking for trouble and more quarrels if I were to pick up the calls. Another part of me feels like giving up. Really giving up. ( for those who hates this phrase because u dun tink I will do so, jus scram, dun tag me too)
You always malign. Everytime when I call u out of concern, u says im looking for some quarrels. Have you ever care about how I feel? Whenever you are upset, angry, pek chek, you are always venting our anger on me. And when I cried so hard, den u started regretting, apologizing. How long do u wan to hurt me? U wan a long-lasting relationship, but look at the way you treat me.
‘fen shou kuai le’ and ‘ai mei’ best suits our situation. Maybe the latter suits me more.
I dunno whether I should be meeting you later, or should I treat you the way I treat darryl. By ignoring u, ignoring ur msg, ur calls. Im thinking. Considering.
10:50 AM
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
giving out a big yawn. haha. today im super tired. finished shopping with my aunt and granny ard 5. hell, my legs almost gave up on me. haha. next time mus wear flat shoes, so can walk easily. haha.
in the morning, dad gave me $100 to spend for the shopping because he dun wan my aunt paying for everything. lol. in the end, i didnt buy anything. lunch was on granny, but i bought sushi for her. =). shop ard den went into louis vuitton ( i tink is lidat spell la), so class. haha. slowly i'll fall for their handbag. haha.
ard hmmm...5 left orchard taka. back to boon lay. haha. was thinking why 'the face shop' not in jurong point. i wanna buy the eye shadow but hell, i forgot totally abt it jus now. like wth, went all the way to orchard den i nv buy much. argh!!! and not forgetting expenses for today will be on dad. so i regret, regret, regret. haha.
guess im gonna end here. my lappy batt gotta run low. byex.
11:25 PM
Monday, June 19, 2006
hmmm...didnt update yesterday. busy watching tv. haha. reached hom watch channel u talking abt a father one, den 11pm watch wei xian ren wu. walau i watch until slp can. den dunno how it ended.
had a lil quarrel with him yesterday. abt his bro's gf again. like wtf, always quarreling abt them one. idiot. forget it.
walked to pasar malam. bought muachee and kuey tutu. haha. for his mum. after tt bought 6 can of 100plus and 6 can of redbull. hmmm...after that went back le. cus my leg damn pain, wear the stupid wa wa shoe. haha.
tml gt prog le. im going orchard with my aunt. heex. i knew this week is gonna be bored to death. no shopping partners, collen having her exams, pearly going thai, von at m'sia, my classmates going genting tml. bon voyage kkz. if anyone reading mmy blog, please pass it to them. =)
may be getting my silkpro revive essence later or maybe another one. still considering eh. but i've spent alot le. ytd jus gav my dad $25. because im not working and im so broke now.
bro is confirm going to korea. mum paying $500 for him, den he paying the rest. gd hor. dad says im not allow to go overseas. he says i eat also eat so lil, later kena blown away. my dressing too lil, later gt bee, insect etc come find me. like wth, no link can. so i told him, 'if im going oversea to study how?' den he said, 'tt's another case le'. walau. ok lor. forget it.
tt bf of mine ar, work until forget me le. damn. called him ard 1 plus. he said he will call me back. waited and waited. still no call. fuck. jus now call him back, come scold me. simply hate this r/s.
3:26 PM
Saturday, June 17, 2006
hmmm....went to look for dear just now. went up his hse first. well, still i dunno why i jus simply hates his bro's gf. really dunno why. saw his bro combing her hair after her bath. obviously she's acting like a baby. haha.
went up to giant with dear. walk ard and bought honey corn, dove choc, mini chocs and my beloved yakult. heex.
i really need to lose weight. help help. previous running doesnt help at all. wtf. no matter wad i mus find ways to firstly get rid of my tummy, secondly make my leg skinnier. yup, i tink tt's all bah. haha.
basically watching devil beside you from youtube the whole freaking morning, den watch dan sheng shu she lian huan bao ( dunno correct anot) haha. after tt went back to watch devil beside you. ching, u make mi addict to it. but didnt watch some episode cus those ppl nv upload. went to look for the vcds jus now, argh!!! $40.90. quite ex can, haix. anyone have tt vcds???? haha.
hmmm, think im ending here le. byex.
10:35 PM
Friday, June 16, 2006
met ching @ clementi for lunch. had chicken laksa. after tt went to ntuc to get drinks and me-choc. haha. yum yum.
looked for engpoh to open one of the classrm for us. most of the time watching er mo zai shen bian. haha. nice nice nice. feel like buying the vcd leh. haix.
ard 3.45pm, went for a run. wanted to run at the stadium, but gt track and field ppl, so still run outside the sch. today totally cnt run. nvm.
by the way i took a photo of mr ng eng poh. haha. ok, szeling, sch reopen i send to u, den u upload ok. haha.
on the way back, received an sms from a idiot (the guy who ask me where am i). it goes like this: idiot: Im sean la. sorry to cheat you the last time. by the way how are you.
me: cheat me? (i was still thinking who the hell this sean was)
idiot: Ya la. the phone thing. rmb? in jurong one.
me: haaa. so nw u look for me for wad?
idiot: asking how are you lor. working anot
me: im studying nw n im absolutely fine. thanks for ur concern. if possible dun contact me anymore. thank you.
yup, tt's how i replied a bastard like him. haha. didnt tell dear abt it. dun wanna make him worry. heex. but somehow it's so weird. we've been together for 1 year plus, my feelings for him is still the same. though sometimes during quarrel it might fade a lil, it still comes back after a while. =)
jus change blogskin for von. but dun seems to really work out nice. because of the tagboard thingy. sorry!! cant help much.
going to end here le.
11:31 PM
Weather doesnt seems good. hmm...seems like it's gonna rain real heavy. There goes my running. Let's pray tt it will stop raining ard 1pm. haha. Dun get the wrong idea, im not running at 1.
Kinda tired now. Maybe because i woke up kinda early. Was waken up by mum because my lil bro was disturbing her. Im of no help.
Somehow somewhat im doubting, doubting and doubting. I dunno why. Instinct, sixth sense. U name it.
I miss sch, but another part of me dreaded for it to start. Once sch reopen, test, exams and proj (esp blaw) will be flooding our already-busy schedule. boo!
back for updating at night. =)
8:56 AM
Thursday, June 15, 2006
hmmm, back to update le. frankly speaking i love my new diary. heex. but thinking back, i miss opendiary. it's been so long ever since i visit od. maybe scanning thru some odian's diary but i didnt update. well, i guess they wouldn't even bother abt my existence anyway. those who really care have already left notes in my diary. anyway thanks truckloads.
went to meet dear. saw his fren bernard. den he drove us to the camp. after tt met up with terence. haha. den terence made us wait for very long,he wanted to treat us to dinner one but den haha, dun need la. lol. den terence said sth which made mi shocked. he said, 'if he bully u, tell me, i will beat him up one. gal is for guys to dote. buddy must look after bro's gf' haha. thanks thanks.
hmmm, had 2 dinner today. one at my hse, one at dear's hse. cus i still feel hungry. haha. probably gain some weights back. help!!! im gonna lose confidence soon. haix.
feeling kinda tired. hooray, tml can go run le. i miss running even though i will not be able to walk properly he next day. sweat it all out. heex. i jus hope i gt the stamina to run. boo!
*winks*
10:16 PM
Tired of my skin le. so decides to change. haha. was busy scrolling thru those skins. i find this cute. haha.
been a boring day. i finally finished my facc tutorial 8.
woke up ard 8, den after my breakfast i went back to slp. haha. slept till ard 10am. woke up and did my hmwk. so it's done. lol. but i haven complete my cost tutorial, independent learning. hell.
so fast it's gonna be father's day. oh my. luckily told my bro beforehand that im broke. ask him to pay for the expenses first. we planning to go sakura for buffet on sun, but not sure if dad can make it. lalala.
anyway i sort of have a thinking tt ppl are talking abt me behind my back. esp *c. well, i dun wanna name u out. i know someone will definately tell u abt it. but this is still my diary, my say. so scram if it doesnt sound pleasant. im sure u know how ppl feels towards u. but dun try backstabbing me. u wan make up stories den make up stories abt urself. dun make it as if u sound so perfect. everyone makes mistk. get it?
i received a very weird msg after an unknown caller. 'where r u'. so farnie. not as if i know the person. missed call ard 7.20pm but i only saw the msg at 10 plus. haha. see how i neglect my sharp phone. haha.
shall update more tonight.
1:35 PM
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
Some things is better to be left unsaid. I mean i can no longer tolerate. it's totally nonsense. Forget it, im not going to brood much abt it la, else it will be darn obvious im refering to you. haa.
Anyway went to meet dear ard 6. haha. today he didnt take half-day. 3 consecutive weeks leh. haha, can u imagine how he will be like if he were to take half-day today. haha.
Somehow i felt tt i still have many things left undone. facc tutorial is half-done, cost accounting tutorial also half-done, taxation still cannot get the e-learning week's ans. wth. Rwps also haven start on report, IS project left undone, dunno who's gonna assign task. Argh!!! Somehow somewhat i hate holidays. i felt as if i didnt even enjoy much for this 2 weeks and when sch reopen, we still gt test, projs follow by exams. So packed.
Was asking mum whether i can join dear for his friend's wedding in taiwan. Though his buddy haven get married, but dear said his bud ask him to go, but but but, mum says no. because she's afraid later we do sth wrong at the hotel, etc. i was like when are u gonna stop spoon-feeding me. Not tt i want freedom or what, there's always a first time n i need to learn to be independent. So i make an eg for mum, 'so if i were to go overseas to study after poly, is dad going to follow me all the way dere.' duh. den she said, 'he will worry till all his hair turns white.' haha. So funny.
Nvm abt it la, because i dun tink dear will go without me. haha. And also it's very hard to gain independency from the way my parents act. haix.
*yawn*
11:15 PM
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Everyone will be darn surprise abt wad im going to say. haha. To disillusioned, agonyland, wenwen, silli_boi, it's nth surprising le.
Anyway im back together with him.
I think and think abt it last night, i know i still misses him to bits, i wanna cuddle up in his arms, i want everything from him. i stayed up till 1 plus last night. Tears begin to roll down my cheek. I realise i still love him as before, i still wan to take care of him, every single things.
Ard 1.45am, my phone rang. No one will call me up at that hour except him unless Darryl was still with me. So i picked it up, ans it and he asked why im still awake. He asked me to go and slp. =) Touched was all i felt. During that point of time, i broke down completely.
Okay, back to today. went shopping with von and sl. went to queensway shopping centre. have to ask the driver where to alight etc. haha. when leaving, called ching to ask her tk which bus. lol. the 3 lost tourist. haha.
After leaving queensway, went to bugis. hey, im suppose to be saving up, but the more i look at stalls which sells the shorts, the more tempted i am. so tada- bought another shorts at $24. so difficult to cut price. haha. von and sl witness how hard i cut the price. haha. saw the king belt i wanted so much, but damn, i dun have enought cash and i dun wanna withdraw money because it pains my heart to realise tt i've overspent this month. haha.
Guess tt's all for today la.
10:31 PM
Monday, June 12, 2006
it's over. huili have a new life, new day ahead. haha. everything will be completely new to her from now on.
thanks for ur love this 1 year. i appreciate your
tolerance. haha. i was a demanding gal to u eh. so demanding tt u can no longer tolerate. thanks for setting me free. thanks for allowing me to seek for someone who deserve me more than you. haa.
soon i'll change the skin. change the url. i'll keep u ppl updated. =). no longer endlesslove-eternity-.blogspot.com. it's ended in a very complete and neat manner. 10Q.
anyway went jogging with ching n kelly. maybe tml morning might be running near my park. because right now i've finally gain my freedom. cheers to me. this diary will no longer contain his name, memories will be erased.
Heavy yet light. Liberated yet tied.
It's funny how my prayers were answered. god must have love me to bits.
There's so many things I want to say. Every single moment alone I think and think and think. I got devastated, angry, bitter, pathetic; basically a whole whirlwind of emotions. I understand, yet I don't, because the way it ended was cruel and painful to/for me. in the first place it wasnt my fault.
it's predestine to be like this.
goodbye my love.
9:51 PM
Sunday, June 11, 2006
raining days. haha. nice to slp but when it comes to shopping, going out, haha, i hate it. lol.
met collen ard 2.30. went to look for clothes. the sales lady was nice la. try some clothes and in the end, we bought 1 each. haha. at first still considering whether i should buy, budden the lady said once sold, there wun be anymore, so was like, ok, i'll regret if i dun buy. haha.
dunno wad's wrong with my eyes, it's so itchy. and im rubbing it all the time till it gets red and sore. haix. i dont wear contacts, and it wasnt my make-up tt cause it to be itchy, because in the morning it started to itch already. haix.
nth much to write also. had kfc for dinner. haha. more and more chicken, means more and more fats accumulating means
bigger tummy for me. wth.
9:54 PM
Saturday, June 10, 2006
jus ignore my previous entry. a lil too much i noe, maybe alot.
despite all that, loves bring us together. im not gonna give up so easily. i believe god's testing our relationship. =)
ok, shall end here. should be meeting collen tml, unless she put aeroplane. heex.
10:24 PM
so wad's the point of being together when i cant even call u. ok, maybe u're right, i called u too many times today, until u r feeling so pek chek. i knew all along u wanted out. u call the shots. i cant be bothered abt our relationship anymore. too tired.
i feel like jogging, running, screaming my lungs out. i want someone to talk to, but but but. forget it, i dun need sympathy. anyway all along, lawrence was the only one who's willing to hear me out, self volunteer to call me and ask me wad actually happen, be there to encourage me, to cheer me on, initiate to meet up jus to make me feel better. thanks loads.
somehow im feeling so numb by everything u did. ur scolding, ur screaming at me over the phone doesnt seems anything strange anymore because u were merely doing tt everyday. everytime u make it sounds like my fault and in the end, u said it was ur fault because u
pretended u do not wan to blame me. in another words, let me interpret it, u sounded as if it was my fault -> because u dun wanna be blame for it, u think u r right. in the end u said it was ur fault-> so tt everything will sound as if im the cause of it, and u r suffering hard.
get it?
you said i've diaries to vent on, i've frens to talk to.
ah quan ur colleague said u r very lucky. yes we appear to be happy, sweet couple. deep down we werent. u knew it. u said it urself. thanks, really thanks for being so frank with me. so this 1 year was a waste.
somehow i feel tt i deserve better. i deserve guys who dotes on me, i deserve guys who is willing to sacrifice for me, someone who's willing to even die for me. someone who's able to accept who i am, someone who wun scold me. i deserve better. being together with u is actually a torture. lawrence told me, 'u r able to tolerate till this extend, very gd already'.
haa, didnt noe my entries are so emo.
i wanted to visit granny. i miss her so much. she's always dere to counsel me, michelle (my uncle's gf) and my aunt. they are always dere. i knew.
in the first place, i should have listen to dad, to mom, to uncle, to all my family members. he isnt my type. dad said i will have to suffer being with him. i deserve better. i noe. my family can give me everything, pay for my expenses, dotes on me as if im a princess. to them, they looked down on him because his dad and mom are currently jobless. his salary is only 1/3 of my dad's, my maternal family own many business. my aunt runs her own business. they knew i will have to wor extra hard if one day we were to get married. they knew i have to pay for the whole wedding, base on his current savings. everything. i know they dun wan me to suffer.
somehow one day their wish will be granted.
i feel so emotionally drained. so tired. so tired of everything ard me. cant call out, cant go out, cant
stay at home. it's boring me to death. i need space, i wan my freedom. sometimes when i thought abt my freedom when im single, i yearn for wad i once own. i knew i can make decisions, but i've said already, i want to hear the
break from him. i dun wanna be the bitch who dumps guys one after another.
im going out no matter wad. even if im alone. i wan a space to breathe. to spend more money on clothes. i dun wanna save anymore. it's no longer impt. even till the extend where i have to starve myself, i dun care because it's gss. haha.
im signing off.
3:34 PM
this is suppose to be ytd entry. couldnt log on to the internet. tt's why.
here it goes...
ok, it's gss. haha. so let me accumulate how much i've spent. $50 on shorts, $45 silkpro radiant and hydrosoft, $10 on clarifying, $40 for converse shoe, $10 for colour control gel base. you do the counting urself. haha. i've overspent. my allowance all gone.mus learn to save save and save. somemore im left with a pathetic 45 bucks for this whole month. argh!!!
went to giant to buy some tidbits. an auntie, my last time colleague, she told me she saw my bf at jurong point. so i confronted him, and he deny. ok, im taking it as if i dunno, i didnt hear anything. i dun care who's right who's wrong, when it's time to letting go, i will.
did some exercise today. went gym. haha. but i lied to him saying i went running because he dun allow me to go gym. had a lil quarrel. always my fucking fault. he's always right. sometimes i feel tt maybe it's really time to let go.
10:43 AM
Thursday, June 08, 2006
-yawn-....feel so tired even after slping for so long. need to finish up facc today. haha. cause i've been dragging it.
waiting for szeling to come online...haha. so long sia. lol. cause i need her help in cost accounting quiz. wahaha.
didnt go out today. but later have to pay hp bill for dear, buy sport shoes for myself, buy make-up gel, buy bottles to store up stars. haha.
by the way ytd was our 1 year anniversary. hooray. muacks to dear. heex. we didnt really celebrate. ever since he changed job to stamford tyres, he didnt really have time for me, so he took half day ytd, we went out for lunch, walk ard after tt went to his hse. pack his room. so neat and tidy now. dear get rid of most of the dust. all his bro's fault. haha. his bro is so yucks. and his bro gf didnt even bother to get rid of those dust near his bed. and because i was sensitive to dust, i keep sneezing and my eyes gt itchy. dear have no choice but to vacum everywhere. im not suppose to do anything for him-> he said so. haha.
dear said he's paying 50 bucks for my shorts. dunno wad im talking abt, refer to the past few entries. heex. thankew. but but but, ytd i forgot to gave him stars i folded during the holidays. so i told him im giving it to him either by today or tml. =)
my eyes is still sore. haix. itchy like ytd. dunno when it's gonna heal. boo.
ending here. need to con't with facc. haha.
9:49 AM
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
was getting a lil frustrated over some minor issues. i dunno why either. haix. these few days will be a hectic week. e learning, projs, etc. dun even have time for blogging. as you ppl noe, i blog almost everyday. well should concentrate on my studies first.
connections at home have been giving me lots of headaches. cant even go online, cant even access to the internet. feeling so fucked up. jus let me vent.
quarrelling with dear almost everyday. dunno why he's always putting words into my mouth. c'mon, going to 1 year already. sometimes i will ask myself, for this 1 year, how much have i sufferred. okay, let's not put it as sufferred. it sounds terrible. how much have i tolerated? how many times did we quarrel over minor issues. maybe this can last for 1+ yr, but i dun tink we can last as long as we planned.
rmb last night, i told you, all my dreams were scattered. living in fairy-tales. haa. i dunno wad's wrong with us, we've been quarrelling non-stop from sunday to tues. everytime u put words into my mouth. we appeared so loving in front of outsiders, den wad actually happen at ur hse, over the phone, u urself knows the best.
e learning, so far i've only done the pathetic ejs. wad abt the rest of the modules. fuck. i dun even have connections at home, how am i going to complete everything on time.
who should i blame? my bro for not signing up wireless for us when dad asked him to do so? idiot. idiot. idiot.
9:51 AM
Sunday, June 04, 2006
didnt know my past entry upset 2 of my frens. sl n von. they thought i was talking abt them. haha. 2 silly gals. lol. nvm. since it's been clarified. haa. now they know who im referring to, so matter closed. haha.
had a lil quarrel with dear jus know. we are supposed to be meeting at ard 5 plux. he reached hm at 7 plus. so i was so angry can. imagine me staying at his hse for 2 hours. wth. okok, luckily it's okay le. although i still abit angry la. haha.
i go watch tv le. haha. byex.
11:05 PM
Saturday, June 03, 2006
bought 2 shorts at 50 bucks. actually is 60 bucks one, den i keep complaining tt it's too ex. so tt auntie says she cut till 50 for me. haha.
recently been really tired abt some issues bothering me. i dunno how to actually type the whole issue here la, but it's pretty obvious tt sth is happening to us. i dunno whether should i tk it as if nth happens or should i actually look bothered abt this issue. it's tiring putting on a mask. forget abt it. im not mentioning it here. maybe in my opendiary. where my whole private lifes lies.
went to meet dear. everything is abt the same la. haha. also dunno wad to say. at least we didnt quarrel all the time now. im glad. =)
ending here. bye.
9:54 PM
Friday, June 02, 2006
listening to wai po de pen hu wan. hmmm...there was some addiction to it. haha. i love tt song. thanks shi jie for sending me. haha. =)
been playing fish money since ytd. haha. addiction too la. guess this more worse lo. haha.
anyway i realise my results have shown a big drop. argh!! im like surviving on a float. anytime can jus sink. nvm, i'll buck up during the holidays but part of me feel like slacking. argh!!!
so tired till i fell aslp at dear's hse. dunno why also lo. i mean sch isnt tt hectic after those test yet i still feel tired. i slept at 11.50 last night, tt's consider early already. ok, maybe it's because i didnt get sufficient slp during test period.
gt spot check today. haha. but they didnt manage to catch any students. so short skirt was actually allowed. worse still, those lecturer sais, '...we heard from members of the public tt our students dresing...' okay, how the hell do they know we are from SINGAPORE POLYTECHNIC???? does our face, or any parts of our body tells ppl we are from SP? c'mon, look for a better excuse next time. we are not stupid.
today considered a
suay day for me. my necklace broke jus before i was abt to left for sch. 3 bus 99 went off right in front of me. 106 didnt wait for me. reached class no one inside. so wait n wait. wth. so today was suppose to be the
friday 13. haha. jkjk.
so holidays now. i dun feel the mood at all. we are all busy with projects. so bored.
tt's all. =)
10:44 PM
Thursday, June 01, 2006
been tired of talking abt my daily lifes. so shall talk abt much more meaningful things hor. haha. okok. let's talk abt friendship den.
friends, sometimes im wondering, does they stay together with us, be dere for us forever? well, my defination of frens will be someone who's willing to lend u a listening ear, someone who is willing to be there for u when u need someone to talk to, someone who will always support ur decision. well, in this lifetime i've met 2 such ppl. shant name them out. guess they know who they are.
some frens will look down on u when u dun get good grades, stay away from u, hoping tt u will jus stop disgracing them with ur lousy grades. haa, i've met some. some of which will make use of u when u've gt sth advantageous to them, and kick u far away when it comes to study.
nvm abt it, no point guessing who im referring to.
finally i've seen their true colours. it's not too late either. but well wad can i do. everyone wants the best for themselves, of course with ppl who will pull their grades down, they will definately kick them out. it's ok. i've learnt to be more
open, and listen to things which i suppose is pleasant to my ear, if it's not, den im sorry, u are jus talking to urself. haa. =)
i've to repeat myself, i can be nasty if i wan to. but not to everyone. i chose my victim. those who are nice to me wun get a taste of it, those who are not, haa...there goes my delicious yummilicious prey. i shall be the predator in this scenario.
felt tt i totally slack thru today. didnt really waste much time on taxation, haa. see, tt's why ppl will tends to look down on such ppl. nvm, i dun give a damn.
very tired. haha. i need slp.
10:56 PM
